Back to Basics: Writing Is Hard

I don't mean to say "writing is hard" to bring you down, discourage you, or imply that you're better off doing something else. I say "writing is hard" because it's the truth, and I hate when people downplay it by comparing it to something ridiculously incomparable, like being a surgeon.

I say it because you, as a writer, should give yourself credit for how long you've been sticking with it. Because it's hard to stick with it. Not hard in the same way that it's hard to do emergency bypass surgery, no, but it's hard to put your proverbial heart on a platter and serve it to the proverbial wolves, again and again, and still maintain your public persona as reasonably positive and supportive. Of yourself, and others.

Being a writer is mentally and emotionally exhausting. Daily.

Being a writer requires taking risks. Daily.

Being a writer is something many people stop striving for. Daily. Because they didn't realize how hard it would be to keep on keeping on.

You will feel certifiably bipolar. I can say this with conviction because I live with someone who is just that, and I often sense myself mirroring his ups and downs in direct correlation to my writing life. When I start a new project, I'm manic about it. It's all I can think about. It's all I can breathe. When I've been sending out a story for months and the rejections are piling up, I'm depressed over it. I can't even fathom subbing the damn thing to one more editor... just one more editor... And this is after I've already spent countless months working on it, to the point where the sight of it nearly makes me sick.

It's craziness. This is the world of insanity.

Yet we do it anyway. We love it that much.

Writing is a profession we choose, definitely, but I also think there is a "calling to it" involved as well. Those of us who stick with it, no matter what obstacles appear on our individual career path, have all said at one time or another, to either ourselves or someone else:

I do this because I can't imagine not doing it.

And there's magic in that sentiment. It means writing is more than just a career to you. It's a way of life.

I'm one of those people who has been writing stories since I was very little. I think I wrote my first real story-- with an identifiable beginning, middle, and end-- at six years old. Sometime after high school, Real Life took over and I stopped writing for about ten years.

Ten years. Not a single story, poem, script, nothing. Not even a diary entry. (Although there were a lot of lists.) But after ten years it'd had enough of being locked away in my brain, and soon my fingers itched to pick it up again.

It didn't take long for me to realize how much I'd missed it, and then determine to never let it go. Ever. Again.

But even with all this love and determination, the struggles can occasionally wear on you. The "writing every day" can make you feel like a workaholic, often with little to show for your efforts (especially in the beginning). The exciting adventures in your head can become mundane, even if just for a little while. A rough patch.

That's why our community of writers in this generation, linked together through blogs and Twitter and [insert social media of choice here], is so important. I think all writers, no matter what era they lived, needed/need this support. It's just the nature of the beast. It's taxing, and the worst thing you can do when at a low point in your life is isolate yourself from people who have been there, who understand.

Take, for example, the following quote from Mark Twain, 19th-century author.

I think it's safe to assume that, were he alive today, Mark Twain would have had one of the best inspirational/motivational blogs for writers ever in existence. He'd also be crazy popular on Twitter with all his quick wit and humor.

Just because we live in the era of media overload doesn't mean we can't find a beneficial use for these new venues. As writers, as artists of words.

The world keeps changing so we have to learn how to adapt. Writers aren't going extinct. Humanity needs storytellers as much as they need physicians. We are medics for the soul.

So yes, writing is hard. Being a writer is hard. If you have solid doubts, it's okay to step away. But if you truly believe you've found your purpose in life, as a storyteller, then you must also believe that no matter what hurdles you encounter, you will prevail.

Writing is hard. Recognize that hardship, and own it.

~Lydia

A Friday Query Critique Success Story!

The very first query I posted for the Friday Query Critique feature (way back in December!) was from Rebecca Hart, who has since sold her book to InkSpell Publishing using a revised version of her query letter as part of her proposal. Her original query letter, and my suggestions, can be seen here.

Elysandra Winters has always yearned for a life of adventure on the rolling seas and is willing to do whatever it takes to fulfill her dream. When her Privateer father continually refuses to allow his only daughter to sail, Ellie defies him, disguises herself as a boy, and goes in search of a captain who will give her a chance to prove her worth.

Thanks to the cursed selkie blood coursing through his veins, Daniel O'Rourke needs the sea to survive. After giving up on his humanity and spending three years in seal form, he decides to give his human side another chance. Daniel goes in search of a job and a sense of normalcy, earning himself a position aboard Captain Winter’s ship, The Surf Runner. However, his new captain’s first assignment has nothing at all to do with sailing, and everything to do with his headstrong young daughter.

Years later, when the leader of a band of bloodthirsty pirates murders Captain Winters, Daniel and Elysandra’s lives come crashing back together with the force of a hurricane. Both experts in deception, they must find a way to trust each other if they are to have any hope of hunting down the captain’s killer.

CALL OF THE SEA will be released by InkSpell Publishing on June 21, 2012.

Please join me in congratulating Rebecca on her query letter success!
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Why the Once Upon a Time Series Isn't Quite Working For Me

I've been trying to catch up on episodes of Once Upon a Time while visiting my sister. The show airs on a night when I can't watch it, and (scatterbrain that I am) I can never remember to watch it on hulu until I'm at her house visiting and she adamantly reminds me.

My sister is head over heels in love with this show. She's trying to get me into it, but I'm so far behind that I'm watching back to back to back episodes on her laptop to catch up. And while I was initially intrigued by the premise, the more I watch, the more it just isn't working for me.

Maybe it's because I'm watching it all at once instead of being forced to wait a week between episodes, I don't know. But I've been thinking it over since the last time I visited her and the writer side of me took over my reasoning, as it usually does in these situations, and... this is what it came up with:

The protagonist, Emma Swan, is drier than sawdust. I'm sorry, but she is. I'm not sure if it's the actress they selected or if the writers are putting too much emphasis on the fantastical elements of the story and not on giving her, yanno, a real personality.

See, there's a reason why the wicked queen is my favorite character of the series. In both the fairy tale world and the real world, her character is well-defined. She's a bitch. But a well-defined bitch.

A character we love to hate is still someone we love, in a way. So why is it okay for Emma to be so undefined and thus, unsympathetic?

The most probable reason I can think of for her coming off this way is that she is a "normal" person living alongside all these people who parallel some of the most well-known personalities in all of storytelling history. Snow White, Prince Charming, Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Rumpelstiltskin, even Maleficent. That's a tough crowd to stand out among.

Granted, I'm only about half-way into the season, so maybe her character gets stronger as the story progresses.

But what's up with her estranged son calling all the shots? Emma is a grown woman, with a pretty kick-ass career that requires loads of intelligence and problem-solving skills, yet this ten year-old is basically controlling... everyone. Manipulating them all, not the least of which is the woman who raised him for his entire life. And the woman who is his biological mother.

Is it just me or is that off-putting? If this were a kids' show I could see that being justifiable. But it's meant for adults. Henry's character doesn't tug on my heartstrings-- he tugs on my last nerve. He's bossy and annoying and he never does what he's told, even when there is obvious danger involved.

And he's the only person who knows what's really going on? That feels like a bit of a cop-out, and it's borderline insulting. Because who will listen to a child they know nothing oh the imagination on that boy!

Characterization issues aside, the plot itself is just... ALL OVER THE PLACE. It's difficult enough to follow the flashes between the real world and the fairy tale world without having to also follow haphazard timelines. Starting with the second episode. Really? That's not even long enough for me to remember who's who, let alone what's what and when's when.

Not surprisingly, these are the same people who brought us Lost, so. There ya go.

Rather than creating anticipation, mystery and intrigue, I'm feeling more frustrated and confused with every episode. To the point where, if this goes on much longer, I may just give up on it.

I. Don't. Like. Being. Confused.

And can someone please explain to me how all of these fairy tale characters can live in the same world together without the whole place imploding? Snow White and her Prince Charming were guests at the wedding of Cinderella and her Prince Charming, and I had an aneurism right there on my sister's couch.

How many princes and princesses and evil queens and grand castles and different forms of magic can you have in a single kingdom? It's too much. It doesn't make sense. Each had their own world and their own story, and now you want me to believe they were all from the same world with intertwining stories? I'm having a really difficult time doing so.

Above all of that, my main concern with this series is the same one I had with Prison Break at the end of the first season (that series died after they broke out of prison, you know it did)-- great concept! For about a minute.

How long can this go on? How long can all of these characters continue being oblivious and Emma slowly figuring things out but still claiming it isn't true and Henry getting blue in the face because no one believes him? How long before we run out of fairy tale characters to flash back to and show clever unknown backstories for?

Seriously... how long before people get tired of it, get fed up with having more questions than answers? Because I'm already on the brink. And after enduring the Lost years, I don't think people are going to be as forgiving/ patient/ supportive of something that isn't delivering the entertainment they expected.

But that's just me, and mine is only one opinion. Like I said before, my own sister is a hardcore fan. Maybe I'm overanalyzing.

What do you all think of this series? Are my comments sacrilegious, or sensible?

~Lydia

Friday Query Critique

Dear WonderfulAgentPerson:

[Insert specific but not overreaching personalization here]

As a paramedic, it’s Jocelyn Campbell’s job to take weird and terrible things in stride. Interstate pileups, her PTSD dreams, or handling her only relative’s death--no problem. However, getting chunked back to the 16th century by a cursed inheritance isn’t exactly her normal flavor of weird.

She hasn’t gone insane, at least not yet. And she is in Scotland, if her attractive but irritated discoverer Cayden MacLeod is any indication. Her Nikes convince him she actually is from the future, while her unladylike cursing solicits his appalled help in returning her to it--ASAP.

Luckily, Samhain, a time when the Fae and spirits walk the earth freely, is coming, and there might just be enough magick in the air to poof her back home. The trick will be staying alive until then, because after she learns why she hopped the interdimensional crazy train, things aren’t looking so hot: turns out she’s got a used soul from an ancient warrior queen, and her time-traveling means something really bad is about to happen to clan MacLeod. The fact that she’s supposed to save the day is awesome. That her soul is probably doomed…yeah, not so much.

The more she learns about her soul’s past, the clearer the threat becomes—a horrible history is repeating itself, and the first signs are already occurring. Falling in love with the MacLeod chief doesn’t help, because faced with almost certain death in the 16th century, staying doesn’t seem like much of an option…but neither does returning to her empty existence in the 21st.

THE PAINTED QUEEN is a paranormal romance novel complete at 95,000 words that would appeal to the readers of Karen Marie Moning and Diana Gabaldon. I have included the first X pages/chapters (whichever is specified) for your consideration and look forward to hearing from you.

Lydia's Comments

Dear WonderfulAgentPerson:

[Insert specific but not overreaching personalization here]

As a paramedic, it’s Jocelyn Campbell’s job to take weird and terrible things in stride. {My first thought here was that this isn't her "job" as a paramedic. I'd suggest rewriting the sentence to remove the phrase that it's her job to do this, and simply imply that her job entails this.} Interstate pileups, her PTSD dreams, or handling her only relative’s death--no problem. However, getting chunked back to the 16th century Scotland by a cursed inheritance isn’t exactly her normal flavor of weird. {Rather than use up your words talking about all the weird stuff in her "before world", I'd like to know more about what this "cursed inheritance" is and how it resulted in time travel. What happened? That seems vital to understanding your plot.}

She hasn’t gone insane, at least not yet. And she is in Scotland, if her attractive but irritated discoverer Cayden MacLeod is any indication. Her Nikes convince him she actually is from the future, while her unladylike cursing solicits his appalled help in returning her to it--ASAP.

If you can find a way to slip the MacLeod character into another paragraph, the rest of the above paragraph isn't necessary. (I moved Scotland up to the first paragraph, so the setting is clear from the start.)

Luckily, Samhain, a time when the Fae and spirits walk the earth freely, is coming, and there might just be enough magick in the air to poof her back home. The trick will be staying alive until then, because after she learns why she hopped the interdimensional crazy train, things aren’t looking so hot: turns out she’s got a used soul from an ancient warrior queen, and her time-traveling means something really bad is about to happen to clan MacLeod. {Too vague for my taste.} The fact that she’s supposed to save the day is awesome. That her soul is probably doomed…yeah, not so much.

The more she learns about her soul’s past, the clearer the threat becomes—a horrible history is repeating itself, and the first signs are already occurring. Falling in love with the MacLeod chief doesn’t help, because faced with almost certain death in the 16th century, staying doesn’t seem like much of an option…but neither does returning to her empty existence in the 21st. {I like the choice you highlight at the end here-- either stay in the past or return to the present/future-- but the rest of the paragraph feels extraneous.}

THE PAINTED QUEEN is a paranormal romance novel complete at 95,000 words that would appeal to the readers of Karen Marie Moning and Diana Gabaldon. I have included the first X pages/chapters (whichever is specified) for your consideration and look forward to hearing from you.

Overall this a good query. It just needs a few more tweaks to make it great. Clarify the inciting incident at the beginning and the threat at the end, and tighten up the wording throughout.

Thank you so much for offering your query for public critique. Good luck with this!

Does anyone else have any comments or suggestions for our brave writer-friend?

Happy Writing,
~Lydia

Editing to Life - Characterization

Today I'm talking about editing and characterization at Writer Unboxed. Hope to see you there!

~Lydia
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Writer Unboxed logo by WU Community member, Kristy Condon

Defining the Lead Character (as demonstrated by Winnie the Pooh)

For those of you who don't know, I am a HUGE fan of the Winnie the Pooh franchise. When I was pregnant with my son we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl until he was born, but you know what? It didn't matter. I was going to decorate the nursery with beautifully gender neutral Winnie the Pooh decals regardless.

My son is eight now, and he's more into Legos, Star Wars, and trying to sneak in a game of Call of Duty when he thinks I'm not paying attention than anything that has to do with the Hundred-Acre Wood. The only rumbly tumbly he is ever concerned about is his own-- and The Boy just will not stop eating and growing! He's nearly at my shoulder! And he's only eight!

(please excuse the mom-freakout, my baby is clearly a baby no more)

Despite the fact that Pooh and Friends no longer grace his bedroom walls, I still purchase Winnie the Pooh "books and such" whenever I have the chance. For myself. I refuse to give up this part of me. I've been a fan since... my whole life.

And as a fan, I've noticed a few things over the years (read: decades).


1. In a group of many, Pooh is always the lead character.

If we count Kanga and Christopher Robin, even though they are the two most rarely seen, there are nine protagonists. But the stories always start with Pooh. He drives the story forward from beginning to end, or rather, his need for Hunny drives the story forward.

The lead character has the main goal that pushes everything and everyone else into action. The lead is the main driving force. Basically, the story revolves around this person. If you were to remove that character, the plot would fail. This doesn't necessarily mean that the lead has to be the viewpoint character, but they usually are (especially in middle grade and young adult novels).

2. Pooh ultimately has the most at stake in the stories.

In the eternal quest for his next "smackerel of something", Pooh and his Friends go on many adventures. But it all boils down to whether or not Pooh will satisfy his empty belly. Everything else is just a subplot.

3. Pooh's goal is primal, and appropriate for the intended audience.

What is a primal goal? Something that any human can relate to-- love, hunger, survival, etc. This is the most effective type of goal to keep a reader engaged in the story.

Pooh's primal goal is to calm his rumbly tumbly. Being that he is a character meant for young children, this is an appropriate goal for that audience. Even an oblivious newborn can relate to hunger. But something like love? It's not quite so cut-and-dry. Hunger is what makes Pooh an instantly alive character we want to succeed.

4. Pooh is not the only defined character.

Having a lead character with a unique personality doesn't negate the need for a defined supporting cast. Every character in the Hundred-Acre Wood has their own quirks. Owl is a "wise" know-it-all, Eeyore is apathetic and depressed, Piglet is nervous and scared, Roo is curious, Tigger is adventurous, Rabbit is a perfectionist, etc.

Pooh is the most endearing of them all, though. He is just a pudgy, cuddly, "silly old bear" who wants some Hunny, and is always ready to help others when they need it. A good lead character is proven worthy by his supporting cast. His friends love him so we are inclined to love him, too. Again, this loveableness is appropriate for the audience.

The older the audience, the less need for an entirely loveable protagonist-- but you still need a protagonist with a primal goal. You still need a protagonist that drives the story, above all the rest, who is so interwoven with the plot that you can't remove them. You still need a protagonist with something to lose (something at stake). And you still need a protagonist with defined, unique characterization, someone that a reader is willing to associate with through the length of your story.

Who are your favorite lead characters, and why?

Happy writing,
~Lydia

More Proof That Book Titles Are an Important Part of Your Query Pitch

In a previous post I'd mentioned that there is a common belief among unpublished writers that it doesn't really matter if your title isn't quite as good as it can be when you're at the query stage because "an editor is just going to change it anyway."

This viewpoint really bothers me, especially since it is the published authors who are to blame for it. Unpublished writers didn't figure this out on their own, they were told this by people who have experienced it. But as an author, it's your job to make sure every part of your work is as good as you think it can be before you query it to an agent or an editor. It's a crucial part of your pitch as well, which I'd explained in the aforementioned post. I've discussed this in some of my public query critiques, too.

But who am I to tell you what's what? Perhaps you'd rather see an agent's thoughts on the subject? Consider it done! This is from literary agent Molly's Jaffa's Twitter feed:

You should include "query" and your book's title in your query's subject line. That title makes a big first impression!

If your title sounds dated or seems unoriginal, I'll read your query with that mindset.

Your title is important. Your title is important. Your title is important.

I had an editor tell me in his acceptance letter that my title was what initially piqued his interest in the story. He hadn't read a word of the story yet and already, I had him hooked. That story was published last year--the editor did not change the title.

Every time someone makes a comment to the tune of  "the title doesn't matter now because the editor might change it anyway," somewhere in the world a book flings itself from a towering shelf. If it's an ebook it contracts an incurable virus.

Don't be a book murderer. Give your title the attention it deserves before you send any queries.

~Lydia

Friday Query Critique

My lovely writer-friends! I've had such a great response to Friday Query Critique that I have to put a halt on new queries at this time. Anyone who has sent a query and received confirmation of receipt, I will post your critique in the upcoming weeks. Any new queries received, as of today, will be deleted unread.

Once I get through the queue, I'm going to take a break from public query critiques for an as-of-yet undetermined length of time. But I plan to do a regular Friday Query Critique again in the future. Thank you all so much for making this a success!

_____


Query:


Dear Mr./Ms. Agent,

I am currently seeking representation for THE GUARDIAN OF THRESHOLD, a 98,000 words work of urban-fantasy fiction, aimed primarily at the young adult market.

How far would you go to see a dead parent again?

The death of a parent would disturb any fifteen-year-old, but for Mark Anthony Ryser it throws him beyond the threshold and into the world of the dead. There he must find his dead mother, defeat Phasma and rescue his best friend. On top of it all, there is no guarantee that he'll ever set foot in the physical world again, or if his body will be waiting for him when he returns.

THE GUARDIAN OF THRESHOLD is a complete story in itself and the first volume of the series called THRESHOLD CHRONICLES.

I would like to thank you in advance for your kind time and consideration.
The complete manuscript and synopsis are available upon your request.


Lydia's Comments:


Dear Mr./Ms. Agent,

I am currently seeking representation for {No need to state the obvious.} THE GUARDIAN OF THRESHOLD is a 98,000 words work of urban-fantasy fiction, aimed primarily at the young adult market. young adult urban fantasy novel of 98,000 words.

{Put the above paragraph at the end of your pitch.}

How far would you go to see a dead parent again? {Not a fan of starting with a question.

A) The question is aimed at me, the reader, which has a 99.99% chance of me providing an answer that has nothing to do with this story.

B) I'd rather you start with your lead character than make me think about myself.

If you'd like to see how an agent feels about starting with a rhetorical question, click HERE.}

The death of a parent would disturb any fifteen-year-old, {The way this is worded puts unnecessary distance between me and the lead character. It feels more like the author is telling me about him, instead of him talking about himself.} but for Mark Anthony Ryser it throws him beyond the threshold and into the world of the dead. {Need more here. How does this happen? Why is he different than the average teen?} There he must find his dead mother, defeat Phasma and rescue his best friend. {Why, why, and why? You listed three things he "must" do, but I have no idea what's really going on here, or what's at stake.} On top of it all, {generic segue} there is no guarantee that he'll ever set foot in the physical world again, {Why?} or if his body will be waiting for him when he returns. {Why?}

THE GUARDIAN OF THRESHOLD is a complete story in itself and the first volume of the series called THRESHOLD CHRONICLES. stand alone novel with series potential.

I would like to thank you in advance for your kind time and consideration.
The complete manuscript and synopsis are available upon your request.

You have a lot of room to expand this, make it less confusing and more tense. Sometimes it's possible to present all the necessary points in a single brief paragraph, but two is usually better. As is, my question of "why?" is said out of confusion rather than anticipation.

It's a delicate balance between "not enough" and "too much" information.

Start with your lead character. Make it clear why this person is going on this journey. Without that in the beginning the rest of it isn't going to make sense.

Thank you for offering your query for public critique, and good luck with this!

_____

Does anyone else have any comments or suggestions for our brave writer-friend?

Happy writing,
~Lydia

From the Archives: Am I a Writer?

This post was originally published on June 3, 2010.
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Quite possibly the best quote ever, on so many levels.

The question, "Am I a writer?" is irrelevant. The real question is, do you want to write?

Writers write. You get up every morning and hit that keyboard. You get the words down and build stories. You might have to do other things to keep groceries in the pantry, but above and beyond everything else, you write. Every day. Despite all the disappointments, despite all the obstacles, you write.

Every day.

As you write, you learn. You create characters and give them problems and make them work to solve their problems. You send your stories out to market and keep sending them until somebody starts to publish them. But the stark fact is that no one can know if you're a writer - you won't know it yourself - until you have written well enough to be published.

Frankly, most people give up. Writing is hard, lonely work and they get tired of it. But every successful writer starts exactly where you are now, and succeeds by writing and writing and writing until they get published regularly.

Do the work. Write. Learn. Write every day. Read and learn from published writers. Work at it every day. There's no other way to become a writer.

Good luck,
--Ben Bova

For more tips and advice from Ben Bova, click HERE.

Happy Writing,
~Lydia

Friday Query Critique

If you would like to offer your query for public critique, send it to lydiasharp4sff (at) yahoo (dot) com and put "query critique" somewhere in the subject line.

You may email your query at any time and I will send you a confirmation of receipt.

One critique be posted each Friday on a "first come, first serve" basis. I will email you a notification the day your query critique appears on the blog. All queries are posted anonymous.

Queries can be for novels of any genre, but my specific areas of interest are science fiction, fantasy, contemporary women's fiction, and young adult fiction (contemporary, romance, science fiction, fantasy).

_____


QUERY


My book is an urban fantasty chick-lit novel called Kissing a gorgon. It is about a 21st Century woman, named Medusa, who is trying to make it in the Big Apple. She must battle her approaching 30's, her gorgon heritage, and her on off again relationship with the fallen god, Ares.

Her partner in crime is the flamboyant bi-sexual Hermes, who helps her with PR for the fallen Greek Gods and Mythical Beings.

Medusa has just turned 30 and has discovered she does not have the genetic stone disease which plagues her kind. Now she must figure out the life she never planned for.

The Climatic turning point comes when she makes a routine trip home to Gorgon isle to visit her mother. While there, she learns her true identity; she was created from an ancient Gorgon ritual using the original Medusa's blood. Her aunt informs her she is destined to be the new Queen of the Gorgons, but she is not ready to give up her life in New York. And there's a pressing issue with humans starting to worship the political, stoic Prometheus. This situation creates complicated feelings for Medusa, as she is not sure if her relationship with Prometheus is platonic or something more. If enough humans worship him again, the Gods could regain their powers. More than a few Gods would like to extract revenge on the humans they once enslaved.

I am requesting to send pages for your review. I have enclosed a SASE envelope as well.

Thank you.

LYDIA'S COMMENTS

My book is an urban fantasty chick-lit novel called Kissing a gorgon KISSING A GORGON. {book titles should be in ALL CAPS} It is about a 21st Century woman, named Medusa, who is trying to make it in the Big Apple. {What is she trying to make it as? a business woman? an artist? etc. This is a good opportunity to give some brief insight into her character.} She must battle her approaching 30's,{as a woman in her thirties who is battling many things, I'd like to know what you're specifically referring to here} her gorgon heritage,{again, I need a more specific reference here. Do you mean that she has to hide her head of snakes?} and her on off again on-again/off-again relationship with the fallen god, Ares.

Her partner in crime is the flamboyant bi-sexual Hermes, who helps her with PR for the fallen Greek Gods and Mythical Beings. {This paragraph feels unnecessary. Either expand it or cut it.}

So far this is a really interesting concept, but I'm not understanding the plot.

Medusa has just turned 30 and has discovered she does not have the genetic stone disease which plagues her kind. Now she must figure out the life she never planned for. {this paragraph doesn't connect to anything}

The Climatic turning point comes when she makes a routine trip home to Gorgon isle to visit her mother. While there, she learns her true identity; she was created from an ancient Gorgon ritual using the original Medusa's blood. Her aunt informs her she is destined to be the new Queen of the Gorgons, but she is not ready to give up her life in New York. {I get the sense that this is a major conflict for her, but since I don't know what her "life in New York" was all about, the tension is lost.} And there's a pressing issue with humans starting to worship the political, stoic Prometheus. This situation creates complicated feelings for Medusa, as she is not sure if her relationship with Prometheus is platonic or something more. {This is another conflict that lost tension for me because it doesn't connect to anything.} If enough humans worship him again, the Gods could regain their powers. More than a few Gods would like to extract revenge on the humans they once enslaved. {Again, no solid connection. All of the points are fine on their own, but when thrown together there is no cohesiveness. I step away from this pitch feeling lost.}

I am requesting to send pages for your review. I have enclosed a SASE envelope as well. {the E stands for envelope}

Thank you.

As I said above, you have an interesting concept here. The idea of mythical gods living as people, blending in with the modern American populous, is quite intriguing. Add to this that the main character is Medusa-- my personal favorite from Greek mythology-- and I believe you have an idea worth reading about here.

The main problem I have with the query, however, is that the presentation of the plot isn't following a natural flow from one point to the next.

• Start with your main character-- who she is and what her goal is.
• Then go into your conflict-- what prevents her from that goal.
• Then raise the stakes-- what makes the conflict worse, more intense, perhaps even a matter of life and death.
• End on a tough choice the main character must make that is directly connected to the main conflict you've presented.

To see more clearly what I mean by the above points, study the example I highlighted at the end of this post.

Also, the overall tone of the query feels like a cold reading of events. Write the query as if you are the main character relaying your story (albeit in third person) rather than the author talking about a story you wrote.

There are a lot of typos in this query. Before sending any piece of writing to an agent or editor, have someone proofread it for you.

Thank you for offering your query for public critique. Good luck with this!

_____

Does anyone else have any suggestions or comments for our brave writer-friend?

Happy writing,
~Lydia

The Act Three Showdown, aka the Climax

It should feel like this*:




I've discussed this before, here. And THANK YOU to Elle Strauss for reminding me of this epidemic in published fiction, with her blog post, here.

Authors and editors:

Endings should be BIG. The reader should be able to pinpoint the CLIMAX, the point where all the conflict that has been building over the course of the novel has finally reached its PEAK-- even if the book is part of a series, the ending of each book should resolve something. This should be the biggest, most INTENSE conflict of the entire novel. It should feel like a SHOWDOWN between the protagonist and the antagonist (whoever or whatever the antagonist happens to be).

The number one reason I knock off a star from a book rating is because the ending wasn't big enough or it didn't satisfy. This needs to stop. This needs to change. It's bringing down the quality of our reading choices.

~Lydia

* language warning

Back to Basics - Writing a Query (slash) Pitch (slash) Jacket Blurb

The fine art of writing a pitch for your story is not something only to be learned by those seeking a literary agent. If you want to self-publish, you need a catchy jacket blurb to attract your audience. If you want to pitch directly to an editor, you need pretty much the same skills as you need to write a query letter for an agent, both of those requiring you to stand out in the slush pile. If you already have an agent and/or a book deal, you still need to know how to do this-- for your next book.

It doesn't go away. Ever. As long as you want to write and publish novels, you need to know how to sell them with 1-3 brief paragraphs.

I've blogged about this before. But this is a skill we must continually sharpen, so it bears repeating.

As I mentioned somewhere in the ramblings of yesterday's post, whenever I get a new idea for a story (whether it be short fiction or novel), I write a brief blurb for it and select a tentative title.

Why is the title so important? Because the title is half your pitch. Whether the reader sees the title before or after reading the pitch, once they have both pieces it should instantly make sense.

One of my biggest pet peeves when reading query letters, or, sometimes, even when reading jacket blurbs of published novels, is not seeing a clear connection between the title and the pitch. I read the query pitch and get to the paragraph that states the title/genre/word count and go... wait a minute, what? That is never a good thing. The title should instantly make sense. No questions. No backtracks to find the relevance.

The first thing I notice on a book I'm contemplating to read is the cover image. The second thing? Is the title.

title = what your story is about (this is detailed in the pitch)

It's a very simple equation, but many authors seem to forget this when writing their query letter. A perfect title doesn't always come to you right away. In fact, the idea I was talking about just yesterday has already received a new title. Why? Because I developed the concept more since first penning it, and my original title choice wasn't doing its job. It didn't connect as well as the new one.

And the argument that "an editor is likely going to change your title anyway so why concern yourself over it?" is not really valid, in my opinion. Yes, a lot of titles are changed before a book is published. But if the title is half your pitch, it matters at every stage of the process before publication as well. It could be the difference between a yes and a no, even if the agent/editor doesn't realize that the awkward title is contributing to their "just not quite feeling this concept."

The title is an important part of your pitch. Give it just as much effort as you do the rest of it.

My best example from my own work is Summer Hoax, and no surprise, this project got more attention from agents than anything else I've queried. The premise is clearly relevant to the title.

Summer Hoax is about a girl who agrees to play the fake girlfriend of a still-in-the-closet gay guy for one summer, and ends up falling in love with him.

And this nicely brings me to my next point:

The tighter the concept, the easier it is to write the pitch. If you can slim down your concept to a single line, without losing anything vital-vital, without losing the vision you need the reader to have to make a decision on whether or not they like it, then expanding that sentence into 1-3 brief paragraphs is CAKE.

I had trouble with this myself regarding my novel Social Graces. I will be the first to admit that it isn't "high concept." It's more of a literary story than it is commercial. I had a hard time, at first, separating the character arc from the plot. They are so very closely knit together. Because of this, I struggled with this query more than I did with the query for Summer Hoax, which seemed downright effortless by comparison.

But that doesn't mean it was impossible. It just took more effort to present a clear story arc in the same few words. My first few drafts of the Social Graces query had far too many random details, and my Big Choice at the end wasn't connecting to the rest of it as well as it should have been. I'm not sure how many drafts I wrote for that particular pitch, but it felt like a thousand. Once I got it where it needed to be, though, it did its job. I got requests to read the manuscript.

So if you have a novel that is more literary, character-focused, and/or you don't feel it is necessarily "high concept", don't lose hope. You can still write an effective pitch for it.

What makes it especially hard for an author to write their own jacket blurb, or query letter, is that they are too close to the story-- THEY KNOW TOO MANY DETAILS. These details crowd you and the query letter becomes a chore.

Writing a pitch is NOT about divulging all the details. It's about balancing between "not enough" and "too much." It's about teasing.

In a one-sentence description of your premise, there is no way you're going to get everything out that explains your concept. But it is enough to entice the reader into wanting to know more. And that's all you're doing with a query letter/jacket blurb as well. You have to present only what is absolutely vital, but without making it feel like something crucial is missing.

There is a difference between intrigue and confusion, and THAT is the difference between a yes and a no. The more concise you are, the better.

This means focusing on a single story thread for your pitch (the main one, obvs), regardless of how many you have so creatively twisted/weaved into the plot. The easiest way for me to remember what is vital in a pitch is with the 3 Cs.

the 3 Cs of an effective pitch = character, conflict, choice

Rather than explain how this works, and risk losing you with my words, I'm going to highlight each of the 3 Cs in the following example of what I consider to be an excellent jacket blurb.

Butter by Erin Lange ~ YA contemp (upcoming 2012 release from Bloomsbury)

423 pounds.
One dangerous defining moment.

A boy everyone calls “Butter” {character "who?"} is about to make Scottsdale High history. He’s going to eat himself to death live on the Internet – and everyone will watch. {character goal}

He announces his deadly plan to an army of peers and expects pity, insults or even indifference. Instead, he finds morbid encouragement. {conflict}

When that encouragement tips the scales into popularity, Butter has a reason to live. {stakes raised} But if he doesn’t go through with his plan, he’ll lose everything. {clear choice}


This is what I call a rare case of "high concept contemporary." Again, the tighter the concept, the easier it is to write the pitch. Notice how few words the author needed to make the premise shine.

So, in review, the basics of an effective pitch are:

1. title = what your book is about (as presented in the pitch)

2. the tighter the concept, the less words needed to make it clear

3. tease - give only the vital details of the main plot thread to entice and prevent confusion

4. use all three Cs = character, conflict, choice (in that order)

If there is anything in today's post that you have a question on, please feel free to ask in the comments section below. I will answer as best as I can, as promptly as I can.

Happy writing,
~Lydia