Lydia's Writing Journal, Entry #5: Why I Love Online Writing Communities

This is a weekly feature in which I share a day in my writing life from the week before.
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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Yesterday was a very frustrating writing day for me. I tried to write something--anything--and none of my projects wanted to cooperate. I ended up forcing out a snippet of my latest short story venture, a historical fantasy/ fairy tale retelling of Little Red Riding Hood. It's less than 500 words, not a full scene, or even half a scene. And it doesn't start at the beginning of the scene either. It was merely a moment of the story that was clear enough in my head to translate into words on the screen.

I suppose writing that little bit is better than writing nothing. And since I haven't posted anything on the forum in a while [ed: the forum I am referring to here is the Writer's Digest SF/F critique forum in which I have been a co-mod since 2009] I decided to post this snippet and see what kind of response it got from the other writers there. Although I am both a mod and a published author, I am not above receiving suggestions from writers, no matter what stage of their writing career they happen to be in at the time. Most of the writers there are as-of-yet unpublished. This does not mean they don't have something valuable to offer.

So I posted this last night:


This is going to be nothing but a big 'ol teaser because this story is coming out so. Stinking. Slow. I swear, a snail could slide across an adhesive strip from one end of my apartment to the other before I get the first draft done.
Anyway...
This is part of my Little Red Riding Hood retelling. Rosalia is the viewpoint character, a young woman in her late teens. The story is set in 18th-century France.
Clickety click here for the music I listened to while writing this snippet.
This snippet is from the first scene, but it is not the very beginning. I have a tendency to jump around sometimes when I write a first draft. Sorry.



The wolf's nose stung my cheek, cold and slick. My back numbed quickly as its front paws kept my shoulders pinned in the snow. The silence of the forest felt heavier than a down-filled blanket. Snowflakes drifted straight down into my eyes from the neverending grey sky above. I was as good as dead in this position, unable to reach my pistol, yet the wolf did nothing more than sniff me. Like it was contemplating whether or not it needed to add salt before taking a bite. My only hope was that it didn't leave a mess of me for my brother to find.

Tears spilled across my temples. "Just eat me and get it over with! Why must you torment me, wolf?"

"The name," it said, "is Vidar. And I am not going to eat you. You are… different."

Different how, I wanted to ask, but… the wolf had spoken to me, as if it were a person. And it had a name? No. Surely I'd hit my head when I fell. Hard. This was a hallucination. Wild animals could not speak and they certainly did not name themselves.

"Rosalia!" Bastien shouted in the distance. "Where are you?"

A chill seized my body as the wolf locked its ice blue eyes with mine. Bastien's voice hung in the still air. Steady hoofbeats drew closer. "If you do not go now, you are dead when my brother finds us."

"I am dead either way." Without further explanation, the wolf jumped off of me and trotted deeper into the forest, weaving through trees bare as skeletons until its ghostly silhouette blurred behind the curtain of falling snow.
 

Thanks for reading!

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And here were the comments [ed: I wish emoticons showed up on blogger. ergh.]:

Joe (the hubby): Not your best but the teaser at the end would make me read more.

Writer 1 (who is one of my main CPs): I hate to say it....
But I agree. Not your best. The first paragraph was a little rough, and the dialogue feels a little too "contemporary" for 18th century France. However, the last paragraph saved it enough I would have turned a page, if there was one.

Writer 2:  Not bad for a first draft. :)
Probably a trivial thing to notice, but the word pistol helped anchor the timeframe in my mind.  I probably would've picked something generic, like gun, and not captured what you did, I mean, who says pistol but someone from back in the day?  Nice attention to detail.
I can't wait to see how you'll polish this up, like the example snippets of your own work you post on your blog.
Good luck, hopefully the trickle will turn into a steady flow.

Lydia: Thanks for the comments, guys. :)
[Writer 1], can you point out what, specifically, felt "contemporary" in the dialogue? I'm not seeing it.

Writer 1: Hmm.
This line:

Like it was contemplating whether or not it needed to add salt before taking a bite

Somehow it sounds almost...sarcastic or snarky to my head. *shrug* (also, was salt readily available in 18th century France? I seem to recall it being VERY expensive in that time period, where wars were even fought over salt and pepper and other spices)
Also the line:

Get it over with.

sounded off to me. More formal might be "Finish it." But I'm not sure.

Lydia: I'll have to research the salt thing because I honestly don't know (and that's part of what's causing the slowness in the writing because there are a lot of things I have to research). The idea of that line was that she is thinking it's going to eat her but it was oddly taking its time about it.
I agree with the second thing you pointed out. "Finish it" would be a better phrase.

Writer 1:  Here's a good place to start:

http://www.saltworks.us/salt_info/si_HistoryOfSalt.asp#historyecon

It's got a general history of salt, which might be helpful. Of course, it is a small thing. So it may not be a super big deal, I just happened to notice because I'm a History Channel watcher. :)

Lydia: Interesting... but far too complex for what I need for this short story (I checked out some other sites in addition to the one you linked). I selected the 18th century because of the fashion and weaponry. If mentioning salt is going to raise some questioning brows, I'll just remove it. No biggie.

Writer 1: *nod*
It may just be me. I did a TON of research for [redacted], so it may be just I know something that most people won't.
You could replace salt with "seasoning" or "spice" which would be more general. Or even "flavor." Dunno.

Writer 3 (who is also one of my main CPs):
[quotes from Lydia's original post: "The story is set in 18th-century France."]
Before I read this, I'd just like to take the opportunity to say  MUAHAHAHAAAAAaaaaaa!!! You've been bitten by the historical fiction bug. It's a nasty little thing that burrows into your brain and pops up when you least expect it. ;)

Writer 3: The only things that made me pause have already been pointed out.
I liked it. I think this has some great potential for a fresh take on Little Red.
I have a fractured fairy tale of my own that's been floating around in my brain for years -- [redacted]. It's not a priority, but this made me think of it again. :)

Writer 4: This has certainly teased my mind. Also, I read the exchange about the pistol. I'm not sure what it was called then but it was a single shot cap-and-ball type. (Muzzle loaded)

Writer 5:  Twisted fairy tales, wolves, an 18th century setting. What's not to love? Hee, hee.
I have no doubt you'll turn this into something wonderful, and I didn't notice anything that hasn't already been mentioned.
Except:
Bastien is the name of the MC in my [redacted] story! And I'm NOT changing it! If you get this published before mine is (which, duh, of course you will) I just want you to know I didn't steal the name from you. :)

Writer 6:  Aw... Bastien from 'The Never Ending Story.' LOVE the name.
Anyway, the only thing not mentioned that snagged me (even though it READS like a great line) is 'The silence of the forest felt heavier than a down-filled blanket.' Down blankets are light & fluffy - not heavy in my opinion. But then again she's in snow & that makes sense. Just didn't click for me, tho.
Other than that, loved it. I definitely want to read more! Hope it starts flowing for you...

Writer 7: "Off of" should be shortened to "off". No need for the extra word.

Writer 8:  [quotes Lydia's second comment above]
I have noticed that with respect to my story - being set in the 1840's - had to research the emergence of molasses of all things because "I'd said it felt like someone dipped her head in molasses" for a description. Period pieces are so tricky.
I gotta say I love the premise for this - as a fairy tale fanatic, this is right up my alley.

Writer 3: [quotes Writer 4's comment above]
They were just called pistols. Or perhaps, by some, flintlock pistols to distinguish them from earlier matchlock weapons. But I think for a teenage girl, pistol would be appropriate.
*I love my book on weapons, it's awesome.*

Joe: Hehe. [Writer 1] shall hereforth be known as "salt nerd".

Lydia: [quotes Writer 3's second comment above]
Sounds cool. :)
And yes, historical fiction is growing on me. I've previously shied away from it because of how much research is involved. But then I realized... it's really not much more than what I do for sci-fi.

Lydia: [quotes Writer 5's comment above]
Ha! I've been wanting to use the name Bastien in a story for a long time. This seemed like the perfect fit. And it's kind of a common name, so I wouldn't think you stole it from me. I've seen it in other people's WIPs and in some published works. All fantasy.

Lydia: [quotes Writer 6's comment above]
I had a down-filled pillow when I was a kid and it was freakishly heavy. But I actually don't like that line very much either, so I'm going to cut it. Glad it wasn't just me. :)

[ed: more comments were added AFTER the date of this journal entry] 

This is why I love online writing communities. I am always amazed by how different people will pick up on/ point out different things they noticed, whether it be something they particularly liked or something that just didn't seem quite right. And even though this tiny snippet was completely picked apart [ed: and it continued to be in the comments made after this date], seeing this feedback has given me motivation to keep working on this project because, for the most part, the piece was well-received.

As long as there is a potential audience, I have a reason to keep writing.

xoxo,
Lydia

Maximizing the Pay-Off With a Character Fix

An ending is satisfying if it answers the main story question presented at the outset. If it is a classic tale of good versus evil, the audience usually wants the good side to be victorious. If it is a classic tale of romance or friendship, the audience usually wants the two halves of the whole to stay together. Etc.

You can maximize the satisfaction of the ending by creating character flaws that need fixing. Because these are often intertwined with the main plot thread through minor subplots, they don't have to be part of the grand resolution of the climax. They can be answered just before, during, or after the climax... as long as it is somewhere in the third act. The finale.

The best character flaws and fixes are the ones that the audience accepts as a natural part of the story. For example, the main characters of romance stories often have an issue with trust, or fear of rejection. And they must overcome this--fix the flaw--in order to be together in the end.

Going back to the stellar example I used for the story structure series here last November, Hiccup, in HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON, had the following flaws that needed fixing by the end of the story:

1. His inability to make level-headed decisions.
2. His emotionally distant relationship with his father.
3. His lack of respect from peers.

There are likely more than that, but those are the main ones that came to mind. All of those are built upon throughout the story and then resolved in the third act. Also, they all have a clear connection to the main plot thread, so that when you fix them at the end, it is undeniably satisfying for the person who has been following the story from the beginning.

That really is the key. The character flaws have to be relevant to the premise, or there is no pay-off.

In the movie TWISTER, the two main characters, Jo and Bill, are in the middle of a divorce. They are estranged at the outset, yet as the story rolls on, it becomes clear to the audience that they are really perfect for each other... if they could just get past their personality flaws! So when they end up working together at the finale, it is satisfying to the audience in more than one way. They succeed in their main mission of collecting data from the tornado AND end up together again, no longer pursuing divorce.

When you're first putting together your ideas for a story, these character fixes are usually the furthest from your mind. They are often added long after you've started writing, and many times, after you've completed the first draft. They're part of the polishing work, something that makes the story shine brighter than the other ones out there. Which is why a story that lacks this kind of depth is accurately termed "dull."

You don't want a dull, shallow story that doesn't satisfy the reader. Make your ending the best it can be by purposely giving your main character/s flaws that can be fixed during the finale through the natural outworking of the plot.

Yes, it's hard. It takes a lot of brainstorming, and trial and error. Study your favorite endings--both in novels and in movies--and see if they don't include one or more of these little character pay-offs as part of the main pay-off, and then analyze how the writer made it work. Your readers will love you for it later.

Happy writing,
~Lydia

More About Rejection a la American Idol

You've got to lose to know how to win.
~"Dream On" by Aerosmith


Why do the contestants on American Idol get so upset when the judges say, "You're good, you've got the potential, but you're not quite ready yet. Keep working on it and try again next year." Then the person responds, full of tears, "But I want this so bad."

Well, duh. You wouldn't be auditioning if you didn't want it. The problem is, the person refuses to look down the road beyond their own feet. No one is saying they can't have it. They're just saying they can't have it now.

They're stuck in the here and now. They want it ALL in the here and now. They don't want to hear that they have potential, they want to hear that they are flipping snaztastic RIGHT NOW without having to do anymore work for it. Which is silly, because as long as you keep taking steps forward, no matter how small or big, fast or slow, you will eventually reach your goal.

Why do some of these contestants get so ridiculously angry when they're flat-out rejected? To the point that they're cussing out the cameramen and even knocking the cameras sideways. They knew what they were getting into when they signed up for the audition. The odds are always against you in any avenue of the entertainment industry, which includes fiction publishing.

They knew there was a chance--a huge chance--that they would be rejected, yet they still fly off the handle when that rejection comes. They lash out, trying to place the blame on someone else, even though they are the ones who had a horrible audition.

One of the women who was rejected last night immediately started going on about how the reason they didn't want her was because she wasn't skinny enough.

What?

No.

You sounded like a turkey when you "sang." That's why you were rejected. Accept it. Move on. Don't hurt the innocent cameraman.

These people are obviously focusing on the status of being an American Idol rather than the work that is involved. Do you think Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood don't work? Hard? Every day? (I mention them specifically because they are my two favorites. Hate me if you must.)

They're status-seekers, not real singers. The real singers want the status, too, but they understand that it won't come easily, that they will have rejection along the way, and that they have to keep working toward improvement at every turn.

It's all about your attitude.

When an editor tells you "this short story isn't quite right for what I'm looking for now, but feel free to send us more of your work in the future"... how do you respond?

When an agent sends you a form rejection... how do you respond?

When a fellow writer gives you some honest yet negative feedback on something you thought was close to perfect... how do you respond?

Are you too focused on the here and now? Do you have to have something published NOW even if it isn't ready?

Are you too focused on the status of being a published writer? Do you have to have something published just so you can say you are a published?

Or are you willing to accept the feedback (in whatever form it happens to come to you), consider it, analyze, reassess, improve, and try again?

It's all about your attitude.

~Lydia

Notes From "The Awesome" - Give Me Some Voice

"Give me some voice" was quite possibly my number one suggestion on the contest entries. As soon as a reader starts reading your story, the viewpoint character is introducing himself/herself. How? With their unique voice.

Voice is closely connected with viewpoint, which is why changing POV in a novel doesn't simply mean "we're seeing things through this person's eyes now." It means "we're seeing things through this person's mind now."

For example, if you're writing a story in third person limited and you switch to a different character's POV at a chapter break, the new character's voice should be clearly different from the previous one. We are not just seeing things in a different time or place. We are seeing a new viewpoint.

So how do you make the character's viewpoint clear in your opening?

The first thing you want to ask yourself is, why did I choose this character as the POV character? Most, if not all, stories include more than one person, so what makes this person's viewpoint more important than anyone else's in this scene? In this chapter? Or in this entire novel (if you follow a single viewpoint throughout)?

Does the character have anti-social quirks? Is the character too analytical? Does the character lack courage? Etc. These are all things that can aid the plot AND be made clear through the character's voice, thus enhancing the read from start to finish.

Another question to ask is, who is my audience? If you 're writing for children and teens, especially, nailing the viewpoint is crucial to connecting with the reader. If you're writing a romance, that affects the voice. If you're writing a sci-fi, that affects the voice. If you're writing humor, that affects the voice. If you're writing horror, that affects the voice.

Jessica Faust at BookEnds emphasized this point HERE. Readers of certain types of stories are expecting certain things, right from the start. And those things should be clear, right from the start.

This is something I found some issues with when reading contest entries. Even though I knew the genre before I started reading, the way the viewpoint was presented could easily change my mind. In an instant. There was more than one entry that claimed to be adult fiction (meaning, fiction geared toward adult readers) that read more like YA or even MG.

When your adult characters speak and act like children, and the narrative viewpoint is undeniably childlike (and there is a difference between "childlike" and an "immature adult"), it doesn't matter what label you put on your work. The impression given by your writing is what sticks in the reader's mind.

The voice sets the tone. It helps the reader decide whether or not this is a character and story they want to follow for 300 pages. This is why agents and editors put so much emphasis on voice, even though it is one of the most difficult things to explain.

You know it when you see it. You also know when you don't see it. A story that lacks voice is what I call a "dry read." There is no unique viewpoint. The presentation of the scene could come from anyone and it would read exactly the same.

Voice does NOT mean the viewpoint character must be sarcastic or snarky or over-the-top in some way. In fact, more often than not, readers dislike those kinds of characters. While they may be fun at the start of a book they usually grate on you the further along you read. If that works for your character, fine. But you don't have to employ that type of voice to get noticed.

Voice means unique to that character's viewpoint. I should be able to pluck a paragraph out of any given novel and then pluck another out of a different novel, set them side by side, and see the clear differences in the narrative voice, even if written by the same author.

Example time. All of these "first paragraphs" are from one author (me, because I own the copyright) and the same category (YA contemp), but each has a different viewpoint character. Although you will likely notice similarities in writing style, each should portray a different voice.

Oh my bananas, she was really dead. Cold. Stiff. Perfect make-up applied to her expressionless face. She lay in an ivory satin-lined box, looking as if she was just taking one of her regular afternoon naps. I half-expected her to open her eyes and chastise me for crying. Crying is for little girls, not confident young women, she'd say. Suck it up, Kendall, your mascara's running.

THE LOWER 48
© 2010 by Lydia Sharp

It's just like me to be late for my own going away party. This. Is the party of the summer. The pinnacle of getting high and/or drunk and/or laid. People have been talking about it since June. Me? Not so much. Because no one can convince me that ditching all my friends and changing schools right before senior year doesn't blow harder than Moby Dick.

SOCIAL GRACES
© 2010 by Lydia Sharp

We had an unwritten code at Oakwood High School that everyone clearly understood by the end of freshman year. Not that I cared about what anyone considered either a social requirement or just something fun to discuss, but it was impossible to avoid overhearing hallway chit-chat and back-of-the-class whispering when you were among the herd.

SUMMER HOAX
© 2010 by Lydia Sharp

In the first example, I wanted to show the MC's insecurity. And starting off with her signature phrase "oh  my bananas" gives her a naive/innocent girl appearance. Which she is. Also, she has every right to cry--she's at a funeral--yet she's still finding a way to get down on herself about it. This is a connecting point for the reader.

In the second example, the MC is extremely self-confident. I use short, punchy sentences to emphasize her character while at the same time making it clear that she's in a situation no teenager would want to be in, no matter who they are. So even though she's crass, the reader should be able to connect.

In the third example, I wanted to show the MC's goodie-goodie viewpoint. She thinks she doesn't care about any of this--her classmates and their expected social code--but at the same time she clearly does care, even if she doesn't realize it yet. If the reader can see this, then it's a connecting point.

In all three examples, the voice in the first paragraph gives a "character starting point" for the reader. Each of those characters are up for some big changes by the end of the story. The more clear you make the character's starting point, the easier it is for the reader to follow the story. And the best way to make that clear is by presenting the character's viewpoint through their unique voice.

Again, the voice doesn't have to be overly quirky or in-your-face. It just needs to be unique to the viewpoint character.

Do you have any tips on how to show a clear voice right from the start? Know of any good examples in your own work or others? Please share.

~Lydia

What Came First, the Character or the Plot?

I've always been a firm believer that character and plot go hand in hand. I've gone as far as to say that character IS plot, and vice versa. That the character arc is so closely weaved with the story arc that the two cannot be separated.

That is true for finished stories. However, in the early stages of story development, even before you start writing, when the idea is just a seed in your brain waiting to grow, what do you think of first and then build upon? The main character/s or the plot?

When I first asked myself this question, I thought for sure I would answer "character" just about every time. But I was wrong.

Here is what came first for my YA novels:
(some of these--all genres and types listed below--are still in the "idea phase", some are started but not finished, and some are complete)

SUMMER HOAX (contemp) -- plot
FINDING ME (contemp/light sci-fi) -- plot
THE LOWER 48 (contemp) -- plot
BOYS AND THEIR TOYS (historical) -- character
SOCIAL GRACES (contemp) -- character
PRISONERS OF FREEDOM (sci-fi) -- plot

...and for my women's fic novels:

SUNSET ROSE (contemp) -- character
ONE-WAY TICKET TO NOWHERE (contemp) -- character
ROOMMATES (contemp) -- plot

...and for my sci-fi novels:

WEB -- plot
DEAD STAR, SHINE -- character

...and for my short stories:

"A Day For Emma Lynn" (contemp women's fic) -- character
"Chasing Dreams" (sci-fi) -- plot
"A Messenger's Oath" (fantasy) -- plot
"The Keeper of Secrets" (fantasy; published) -- plot
"The Blade of Tears" (horror; published) -- plot
"Spread Your Wings and Die" (fantasy; published) -- plot
"The Incredible Misadventures of Han Solo" (sci-fi) -- character
"Tryssa's Revenge" (fantasy) -- character
"Season's Greetings" (urban fantasy) -- plot
"Faultless" (sci-fi) -- character
"Rosalia and the Wolf" (fairy tale retelling) -- plot

That list may not mean anything to you all, but when I look at it, I realize a scary trend. Pretty much every story I've started and then got stuck on had no clear plot from the get-go. The only exception is SUNSET ROSE, which I finished (very quickly) over a year ago. But when it came time to write a synopsis and a query letter, I had an extremely difficult time getting it to flow smoothly and make sense. And, no surprise, I queried it without success. It now sits in a proverbial trunk, waiting for me to fix it.

(Notice, also, that the three short stories I have published all stemmed from plot first.)

The novels that I can work through more smoothly have a clear plot at the foundation. Without that foundation, your structure crumbles. So where does character come into all this?

Character is vital to the plot, but if you create a character that aids the plot, rather than create a plot that aids the character, you will have...

1) a much easier time with both your first draft and the revisions later (please note: "easier" does not necessarily mean "faster")

2) a more commercially viable story when it's finished

3) more completed stories than "started this, got stuck, and now it sits..."

Three years ago I would have called total BS on this, but my experience thus far has proven it true.

I hate to admit it, but I rarely begin writing any movie with the "who" in mind. More often it's the idea first. And if the hero is a part of the idea -- well, that's just gravy. Many will tell you differently, and this is only my approach, but I think the "who" has to serve the "what is it?" -- not the other way around. And once you have that golden idea, that winning pitch, that perfect hook, and don't quite have the "who", it's time to get to work to enhance the idea with the right characters, especially the hero of the story.

It's all about making the "What is it?" work better.

--Save the Cat! by Blake Snyder, p.49

What comes first for your stories?

~Lydia

Lydia's Writing Journal, Entry #4: Why I Write SF/F Short Stories

This is a weekly feature in which I post a day in my writing life from the week before.
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Friday, January 21, 2011

With the craziness of "The Awesome" behind me now, I find myself asking, "Where did the month go?" I have so SO much I need to work on, and now that I have the time to do it, I can't focus.

I'm still working on the first draft of my second contemp YA novel. I've already had to back-track and rewrite about fifty pages while completely scrapping another fifty. This novel has officially become a labor of love. It is a struggle to get it out onto the screen the way I see it in my head and feel it in my heart.

And because of this, my brain seeks the comfort of a less stressful, more enjoyable project.

This is why I write speculative fiction. I can make up my own rules for my own world.

This is also why I write short fiction. It is just as difficult, yes, but it is condensed. The long haul of novel-writing requires breaks from time to time.

So when I put the two together, it is no surprise that 99% of my short fiction is SF/F. I was browsing one of my flashdrives last night and found the start of a YA sci-fi short story that I'd completely forgotten about, for whatever reason. All I have are the first hundred words in the file--not even a title yet--but as soon as I saw it, I remembered every bit of what I had planned for the story... even after more than six months of not thinking about it. At. All.

Because I am currently an unpublished and unagented novelist, I have the freedom to use this day however the hell I want to. I have novels to work on. Definitely. But nothing horrible is going to happen if I don't work on any of those larger projects today. I can do what I want, so I will do what I want.

And today, I want to work on this short story.

It is still technically work, and when I finish it I will do what I can to get it published, but for me, today, right now, it feels like a break. It's refreshing to work on something different. That's how you keep your creativity sharp. So in that way, this isn't really a day off.

But it kind of feels like it is.

I'm also going to brainstorm some ways to publicize my new anthology. Which doesn't really feel like work either. It's like planning a party. You're expending physical and mental energy, but mostly, it's loads of fun.

Despite the inevitable struggles, I so love my job.

xoxo,
Lydia

ADDENDUM:

After spending most of Friday brainstorming for this YA SF short story, I realized that what I actually have is deep enough and big enough and awesome enough to be a novel. So I've added a new novel to the list of projects waiting for my attention.

But all is not lost in the world of my short fiction. Friday night (the night of this journal entry) I had an extremely vivid dream about how to retell the classic tale of Little Red Riding Hood. So... yeah. Time to get back to work before my to-write list officially buries me.

How many of YOU are overwhelmed by your own ideas?

How Querying Agents Is Like the American Idol Auditions

It takes all of five seconds to recognize if someone has the IT factor or not. Some of those AI auditions the last two nights gave me goosebumps. The good kind. And some were admittedly painful to hear.

Showing you're worthy of the first cut--in a mere few seconds--takes talent, plus hard work towards perfecting a craft that the contestant honed before they ever signed up for the audition.

All of this reminds me of querying. The agents you query are the judges. Your query letter is your audition. Which can only end in one of two ways:

1. They request your manuscript. You're going to Hollywood.

or

2. Rejection. Get on the plane/bus/train/taxi back home.

And really, that's it. You give it your best and you either go to the next round or you don't. But I guarantee you, every contestant who makes the first cut was NOT one of those people who thought, "Hey, sure why not, what the hell, I'll give it a try... even though the only practice I have is singing along to the car radio." Seriously. The people who have the IT factor are the ones who have been practicing and practicing and trying and failing and continually seeking ways to improve.

Yes, even the 15 y/o kid (was he not adorable last night?). Even with inherited talent, hard work is still required to be able to compete with professionals. As soon as that contestant steps into the judges' room, they are saying, "Here I am, the next American Idol." And then they have to prove it.

The same goes for seeking novel publication. When you query an agent, you are essentially saying, "My work is good enough to compete with the work of professional authors already on the shelves." And then you have to prove it.

How? It is all dependent on what you do before you step into the judges' room.

1. Learn how to sing. (Learn how to write a good novel.) This takes time and practice. And it requires a knowledge of what is already out there. Read, read, read!

2. Learn how to audition. (Learn how to write a good query letter.) This also takes time and practice. Notice in the AI auditions that the bulk of those who make it to the next round are clean and poised in their appearance. Most who don't make it are sloppy and lack focus. This isn't a coincidence.

3. Understand your audience. (Research what each agent represents and their particular tastes.) American Idol is a pop star competition. There are some really good singers who are rejected because they don't fit that style. Doesn't mean they can't be stellar in another venue. Many are told, "You should do opera", or "You should do Broadway", etc. A rejection from one agent could very well simply mean, "This just isn't right for me." Someone else might snatch it up in a heartbeat. You can increase your chances for success by doing research ahead of time.

4. Get an honest unbiased opinion on your abilities. (same) This means, someone who is not blood-related to you, or a close friend, etc. How many times do you see outrageously horrible auditions on AI and the judges ask, "Why are you here?" and the contestant responds, "Because everyone I know says I'm good enough to win"? When it comes to things like this, you have to get an opinion from someone who knows the craft. Period.

Of course, you can do all of this and still get rejected. Maybe you just weren't as ready as you thought you were. Doesn't mean you have to quit completely. It is never a one-shot deal.

Whatever you do, don't shift the blame onto the judges. I see so many writers say things like, "Oh, that agent was just having a bad day and wanted to get through the slush pile and probably rejected everything he/she saw that day."

What? NO. It is their job--their livelihood--to find the authors who will be, in their opinion, the next big thing. And they know the business and the craft and their own individual tastes well enough that they can decipher which "audition" has the IT factor even when they are personally having a bad day, for whatever reason.

If any of the AI judges were "having a bad day", would it keep them from recognizing that this is a BAD audition...



Or that this is a GOOD one...



I think not. They are in the business of identifying talent. The responsibility of showing that talent falls solely on the contestant. The writer. Lashing out on the agents who rejected you just makes you look like an idiot. And if you don't make it this time around, there's always next year. Keep writing. Keep reading. Keep learning.

~Lydia

What Makes a Good Opening

Before Audrey entered the contest, I'd never heard of her or seen her anywhere on the web. All I knew of her story was the title and the genre. The only things I expected were a teen viewpoint character and some kind of story element that shows me this is fantasy.

What I got was this:

Someone told me once that before the end of the world apples were available year-round. People could go to food stores and expect to find them regardless of the season. Earth had a lot more apple trees back then. A lot more people too.

The few of us who survived the apocalypse made a new existence for ourselves, one in which apples are only available in autumn. I guess we're lucky: that Helsa Labs had the foresight to build this protective facility before the bombs fell; lucky we had the technology to preserve some of our way of life; lucky we rescued enough people from around the world (myself included) to have the genetic diversity necessary to prevent extinction.

But sometimes I think about life in the old world. As I reach for the first apple of the harvest I wonder: would I like them so much if I could eat them whenever I wanted?

My hand closes around the fruit and immediately I know exactly how it will taste: tart for a gala, but with precisely the right amount of crunch in each bite. A bruise mars the flesh—a surface wound only; it doesn't reach the perfect core with its three teardrop seeds.

No... I don't know for certain, but three sounds right.

I pivot to scan Helsa's cavernous dining hall for a place to sit and jump as two lanky arms drape over my shoulders, the gold-skinned fingers grasping my fruit. The vegetable soup in my left hand sloshes over my thumb.

“Oh, excellent!” my best friend Kim exclaims, her loud voice in my ear. “Apple season!”

I twist my head to look at her. Behind her is our friend Riley, who appointed himself Kim's older brother figure some years ago and never got over the idea. Riley's parents are original members of Helsa, but like me Kim was orphaned in the apocalypse.

Kim hands back the apple and nods in the direction I'm facing. “I wouldn't go over there, Annie. Fertilizer day for the farmhands.”

“I can smell them from here,” Riley adds.

“Where were you this morning?” Kim grabs my wrist and pulls me to an empty table. “I thought you had barnyard shift with us.”

I shake my head. “Latin. Barn after lunch.”

Each of us at Helsa has two main assignments in addition to daily facility maintenance: one job for survival, one for remembering. Kim, Riley and I share barnyard upkeep, but not always the same schedule.

My remembrance task is cultural preservation: I'm responsible for making sure all we know about ancient Rome isn't lost forever. Humanity gave up so much when the world fell apart; we don't want to forget more than we already have. We've put the most vital of our collective knowledge into computers as a fail-safe, but the drives have only so much space. If I don't memorize everything I learn about Rome from crumbling books and the aging memories of the adults, the knowledge disappears.

OLYMPUS GATE
© 2011 by Audrey Lockwood

After reading this, I immediately filed it under "contenders for Grand Prize", and I had read 67 entries before hers and still had 15 left to read. Why is this such a good opening?

1. Within the first few sentences I already know the character's starting point-- what the situation is in her world. That is crucial to understanding how the inciting incident (which I expect to see by the end of the first chapter) will bring about a significant change, or hint toward a significant change. After just two paragraphs I am solidly grounded in this character's world.

2. There is a unique narrative viewpoint, which gives it a clear style and voice. Voice does not always mean over-the-top, or in-your-face, or sarcastic for the sake of being sarcastic. Whatever your character's unique viewpoint is, that will give the story its voice.

In the case of the above example, I got the sense that Annie is both intelligent and curious, someone who does as she is asked, yet she may go against the grain if she feels it is necessary (and yeah, all of that from just the first two pages). She is someone I can follow through an entire novel.

3. The question posed in paragraph three completely hooked me-- Would I like them so much if I could eat them whenever I wanted? I expect to see that question explored more deeply as the story moves along.

4. There is a lot of physical action going on here, but only the necessary actions are actually stated. The rest can be assumed by the reader. Spelling out every last detail for the reader makes for a boring read.

5. The dialogue is relevant to what we've already been given, it feels natural, and only the necessary dialogue is stated.

6. The backstory is weaved in fluidly, and it feels relevant to the scene.

7. Not one character in this snippet is described by their physical traits, yet I can see them clearly. How is that possible? Because they are introduced and presented by their character, through action and dialogue. It really isn't important what color their hair is, or their eyes, or even what they're wearing. Not yet, anyway. All of that can be sprinkled in later, when it is relevant and/or necessary. At this point, I really don't care about any of those things unless they have clear importance to the rest of the scene. Why? Because the viewpoint character doesn't care about them. She knows these people already. It wouldn't be natural for her to take note of their appearance unless it was out of the ordinary, or if it had relevance to what she was already thinking before they showed up.

(I was going to go into more explanation about that, but I think I'll reserve it for a future post so we don't get too far off-track here.)

8. By the end of this snippet I know so much about this character that I feel like I've met her in person, not the least of which is her gender and her first name. Those are oftentimes difficult to get across in a first person perspective, without feeling unnaturally forced on the reader by the author.

9. Tension. This snippet is FULL of tension. As I've said before (here), opening with tension does not always mean rack-em sack-em physical action. In the case of the snippet above, the tension is so subtle that I doubt anyone who isn't a writer would even notice it for what it is. It's a gentle tugging. Planting seeds in the reader's mind that make him/her want to keep turning pages without really understanding why. They just feel the urge to keep reading, so they do.

10. I was already hooked on this by the time I got to the final paragraph, but even if I wasn't, that would have sold it for me. The "remembrance task" really intrigued me. But not because it is some wildly original concept. I got the sense that this is not only important to the character and her current world situation, but also to the story. I had a very strong feeling that this particular task of hers is going to be vitally important to coming events.

And I was right. But I didn't know this for sure until I hopped over to Audrey's blog (after she was selected as winner) and saw her logline for this novel, which makes it clear that Annie's remembrance task is crucial to the plot. Nothing in this opening is there just for the sake of being there. Everything has a purpose.

I don't expect every last one of you to feel the same way Joe and I do about this opening. That would be unrealistic. But I hope that I've explained it well enough here that you can understand why we chose this story as the winner, in our opinion.

Congrats again to Audrey for snagging us with a stellar opening. And to the rest of you, again, THANK YOU for sharing your words with us. This was an experience we will not soon forget.

~Lydia

ADDENDUM:

Please check out the following blog posts by contest participants regarding their critiques:

Leah Miller
Debbie Burns
Jeroen Steenbeeke
Christi Corbett
Lindsey Loucks
Sarah Ahiers
Annie Cechini
PK Hrezo

If I somehow missed yours or you added one after this was posted, please feel free to link your post in the comments. Thanks!

Honorable Mentions and Grand Prize Winner of "The Awesome"

This is by far the most difficult blog post I've ever written. My original list of Honorable Mentions clocked in at nearly 40-- almost half the entries! I wasn't kidding when I said I was highly impressed with these.

As I read and re-read and re-read the entries, I whittled down the list. Joe thought 10 was a good number to shoot for. So I did my best, full-body cringing with every name I deleted, and ended up with 12 Honorable Mentions plus the Grand Prize Winner. And it literally made me sick to my stomach with stress.

I wish I could name you ALL winners. I honestly feel beyond privileged that I even had the opportunity to read all of these story openings. I am blessed to be in the company of such outstanding writers. I have no doubt that I will see some of these very titles on bookstore shelves someday.

I don't know how agents and editors can do this day in and day out. I'm sure they (painfully) pass on a lot of good stuff for the simple fact that they just can't take on every single thing they like. They have to have no less than a passion for the stories they accept.

So when it came down to it, I showed Joe my TOP THREE, and then we asked ourselves, which of these do we, personally, feel passionate enough about to invest our time and effort in doing a full critique of the entire first chapter?

Okay, enough rambling. Haha. Here they are!

Honorable Mentions (alphabetical order)

Angela Ackerman - Middle Grade Paranormal

Sarah Ahiers - Young Adult Fantasy

Debbie Burns - Urban Fantasy

Annie L. Cechini - Science Fiction

Christi Corbett - Historical Fiction

Suzannah W. Freeman - Women's Fiction

PK Hrezo - Young Adult Contemporary

Louise Hughes - Fantasy

Kate Larkindale - Young Adult Contemporary

Lindsey Loucks - Young Adult Paranormal

Neil Shurley - Literary Fiction

Elena Solodow - Young Adult Fantasy

And

 

the

Grand

Prize

Winner

is...

Audrey Lockwood

for her Young Adult Fantasy novel

OLYMPUS GATE

 !!!!!!!!!!

I will contact you via email, Audrey, to discuss your winnings and whether or not you would like your entry posted here for public view. Congrats!

~Lydia

UPDATE:

Audrey has agreed to let us post her entry on the blog. Yay! I know you're all eager to see it. I will post it tomorrow, along with my comments as to why this story intrigued me so much in just the first 500 words.

Also, I'd like to point your attention to a timely post by historical fiction author Jody Hedlund about the importance of your first chapter. Click HERE.

Please Send Refreshments; aka, Contest Critique Recap and Stats

UPDATE:
As of 7pm (EST) all critiques have been emailed back to their authors. If you did not receive yours, please let me know.
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Wow.

O_O

Um... just... wow.

My wrists are cramped. I'm seeing double. And my butt is numb.

But it was worth it! I am still in awe at how amazing these entries were. You are all at different levels--some of you are undoubtedly ready for publication, some of you are very close, the rest of you will most definitely be there soon--and none of you are beginners, that much is clear.

For the record, Joe did not critique any of the 500-word entries (but he was, indeed, supportive). He will be helping me select a Grand Prize Winner from my top choices later today, which we will post tomorrow. So, if you're following this correctly, NO WE HAVE NOT SELECTED A WINNER YET.

It's going to be extremely difficult, to say the least. We will have a list of honorable mentions, and I wish I could do more (especially since I really REALLY want to read a lot of these!), but alas, then I would never get my own work done.

In the meantime, I will be finishing up critiques and emailing them back today, and hopefully will get them all sent out to everyone by this afternoon. If you do not receive your critique by this evening (let's say, by 8pm EST) then please send me an email and I'll try again.

BEFORE YOU READ YOUR CRITIQUE, PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE:

Is It Me? Putting Critiques To Good Use (by Janice Hardy)

Once you've read your critique, I have no problem with you posting it on your blog, or even NOT posting it, but perhaps bitching me out in a rant if you feel I'm wrong, or singing my praises if you feel I'm right. To which I say, I am neither right or wrong in any of these critiques, because it is all merely my opinion. My sincere hope is that I was able to help you in some way either with a direct editorial suggestion, or maybe with a comment.

I tried to be as thorough as I could in my comments. But I would appreciate it if you did not email me back with loads of questions about why did I say this, or why did I say that, and I would appreciate it even more if you did not email me back to explain why you wrote something one way or the other. I would love to give all of you one-on-one attention, but that just isn't possible.

However, if you have a question that you don't mind posting for public view on the blog, you can do so here, in the comments of this post, and I will either answer you here or set it aside for a future blog post (if it is something general, not specific to your piece).

Now for some mind-boggling stats.

Total Entries: 83
At 500-ish words per entry, that is 41,500+ words read and analyzed in my "free time", in less than two weeks. (So, please, if you can, SEND REFRESHMENTS. Or some scented candles and a bubble bath would be nice. Anything, really.)


POVs/Tenses of Entries

Third person limited, past tense
Third person limited, present tense
Third person omniscient, past tense
First person, past tense
First person, present tense


Genres/Types of Entries

Children's Fiction

Middle Grade Adventure 2
Middle Grade Fantasy 4
Middle Grade Historical Fiction 1
Middle Grade Paranormal 1

Young Adult Contemporary 6
Young Adult Dystopian 1
Young Adult Fantasy 10
Young Adult Literary Fiction 1
Young Adult Paranormal 2
Young Adult Paranormal Romance 3
Young Adult Romance 1
Young Adult Urban Fantasy 3

Adult Fiction 

Alternate History 1
Fantasy 9
Historical Fiction 4
Horror 2
Humor 1
Literary Fiction 1
Mainstream Fiction 1
Mystery 3
Paranormal 1
Post-Apocalyptic 1
Psychological Thriller 1
Science Fiction 5
Sci-Fi Romance 1
Speculative Fiction 1
Supernatural Thriller 1
Urban Fantasy 6
Women's Fiction 7


WOW! I don't know about you all, but I am still astounded by the variety we received. That's just... *passes out from the awesomeness*

~Lydia

Lydia's Writing Journal, Entry #3: Critiquing an Old Piece

This is a weekly feature in which I share a day in my writing life from the week before.
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Thursday, January 13, 2011

All these contest critiques have me wanting to tear up something of my own. Haven't looked at this particular project in months. The first page could use some fixing.


    I tried to view things {too generic. make it snap} today as Daddy had always taught me.  Cold.  Scientific.  Facts.  Every living thing must die at some point.  Every thing, and every person.  I reminded myself of this over and over again as my twin brother, Markus, took my trembling hand and helped me out of the limousine.  I smoothed the ruffles of my dress and we led a somber procession {none of those phrases really conveyed what's in my head. more detail? or just reword? hmm...} toward our father's casket.

    It was empty, merely a hologram, but I still imagined him lying inside.  Morbid as that idea might seem, it was more comforting to do so than to think of where his body actually was.  {awkward. reword} I could only guess.  Drifting in space?  Disintegrated by a Butarian particle spreader?  Mutilated and stuffed in a cargo-- {why is there no setting detail yet? should have had something by now.}

    Markus squeezed my hand. "What's wrong, Less?" he whispered. {something is missing here. either an action or a thought or a description... the beats are off, we lost the rhythm.}

    "You mean other than the obvious?" I whispered back.  He didn't outwardly respond, but he didn't have to.  My twin sense prickled the back of my neck, giving me a chill despite the mid-day sun searing through my solid black attire.  {alliterate much? reword to remove some of the s's.} A trickle bead of sweat traveled trickled down my spine and settled in the dip just below my waist.  Color is determined by light absorption, Daddy's voice echoed in my head.  Black absorbs all light.  Light is energy.  Energy creates heat.  The more light absorbed, the more intense the energy, the more heat is released.

    He could make the most complex of scientific enigmas {pretty sure that isn't the word I meant. crap. an enigma is a mystery that can't be explained. formulas maybe? or theories? hmm...} seem as simple as learning the alphabet.  I admired this about him, mostly because I lacked that ability.  Despite Markus and I both having inheriting what the public referred to as "the Skye genius", Markus had been gifted with our father's clear-headed charisma, while I had received our mother's hot-headed temper. {elaborate or reword. Nice contrast and use of similar structure, but I don't think those really get the point across in connection with the previous thought. Not the way I'd intended, anyway.}

    Twins, my ass.  Aside from our fair skin, we didn't even look like each other. {punchier without the explanation, and it's certainly not necessary for the reader to know here, especially in lieu of setting detail. WHY IS THERE NO SETTING DETAIL? We're at the end of page one and all the reader knows is that it's hot enough to make the viewpoint character sweat. ARGH. Fix it, Lydia.}

(I feel better now. Break's over. Time to get back to work.)

xoxo,
Lydia
-----

Editorial comment: The above snippet is from the YA version of my adult sci-fi novel, WEB: BOOK ONE OF THE CRICKET TRILOGY. Original novel © 2008 by Lydia Sharp. Revised version (adapted storyline and viewpoint to convert into YA) © 2010 by Lydia Sharp.

Update on "The Awesome"

CONTEST IS CLOSED.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO ENTERED!

-----


As of the time of this post I've received over 60 entries, have critiqued 35, and have narrowed down my favorites from those first 35 (notice that's plural, as in, I have multiple favorites and I'm only half-way through the entries... the thought of selecting ONE winner is stressing me out so bad you have no idea).

If you submitted last Friday (1/7) or before, your critique is done. I'm hoping to get at least 10 more done today, so there is still plenty of room for more entries if you haven't submitted yet! Joe and I will select the Grand Prize Winner after all critiques are complete. If everything goes as planned, we'll announce the winner here on Wednesday, January 19.

I know I keep saying this but it's true. I'm amazed by the quality of these entries, and also by the variety that have been submitted. I think I've received an entry in just about every genre and type there is, except maybe Western. That's incredible, to say the least. You all have made this contest a success, far above and beyond my initial expectations. THANK YOU!

If you haven't entered yet, click HERE for submission and prize details. Deadline is Saturday night (1/15).

Have a great weekend, everyone!
~Lydia

2011 - The Year Of [Fill In The Blank]

What will this year mean for you? In 2010, I was certain I'd not only have an agent by the end of the year, but also a publishing deal in the works. Am I disappointed that I did not achieve either of those goals?

Truthfully... no. I'm not at all disappointed. Not in the slightest. Here's why.

I learned so much over the course of 2010 that by the time we reached the end of it, I realized that some of the goals I'd set at the beginning of the year were not reasonable for where I was on my career path.

In 2010 I sent out nearly 100 query letters for two different projects. In January I started querying my first women's fic novel. I did not know this at the time, but my novel wasn't ready (still isn't) and my query letter was even less ready. Not surprisingly, I queried about 50 agents over the course of four months and did not receive ANY manuscript requests. None.

While I was querying, I kept working on other things. I continued writing and submitting my short fiction. I entered the Jim Baen Memorial Writing Contest. I did not place, but I still think that is one of my best sci-fi stories to date (it is currently on sub with an e-zine). I entered and won an anthology contest (click HERE). I wrote my first YA novel, revised it, polished it, drafted a query letter, and researched the exact agents I wanted to query.

After querying the first novel with no bites, I realized that I'd gone about it all wrong. The reason I didn't get any requests was because I hadn't offered anything worthy of interest. Plain and simple. The fault was mine, even though I didn't realize this until way after the fact.

(Which is why I kind of hate it when I see other aspiring authors complain about the query system or how specific agents had wronged them with a form rejection or even about the publishing industry as a whole. No one is forcing you to write a novel and try to get it published. Accept that maybe you didn't do something quite right or that your novel wasn't quite ready or that, maybe, it was out of your hands because sometimes there just isn't a market for a particular thing at a particular time. So stop complaining and either quit or get to work on something else.)

By the time my next novel was ready to query, I knew I needed to pull the first one off the market. I still plan to revisit it at some point in the future, but for now, it sits on my flashdrive and collects proverbial dust. It has been officially trunked.

And there is no shame in that. There is also no reason to let an experience like this halt your progress. It's a stepping stone. You learn from it. You move on.

Then it was time to query the next novel, which most of you know is SUMMER HOAX. I've been talking about it on this blog since I finished it, and looking back, it hasn't even been a year since I started it, and I sent out my first queries for it on July 2. Things happen so very quickly in this business. It may seem like they drag on forever, but in reality, they don't. Not when you view it all in the broad scheme of things.

Determined not to make the same query mistakes again, I figured out where I'd gone wrong on the previous venture-- I was too emotionally involved. I didn't look at anything I'd written with an analytical eye. Not the novel, and certainly not the query letter. I had so much hope for this piece, I was so very sure that anyone who read it would love it just as much as I did and snatch it up in a heartbeat, that I allowed myself to be careless. I wrote a sub-standard query letter and did not research the agents as thoroughly as I should have before sending out my baby from the nest.

It wasn't ready to fly because I wasn't ready.

Whatever I'd done with SUMMER HOAX must have been right, or at least better, because the very first query letter I sent resulted in a manuscript request (click HERE to see my pitch). That in itself floored me. But to add even sweeter icing to the cake, this request was from one of the same agents I'd queried six months prior and had only received a form rejection in return.

Obviously, I was on the right track now. The agent ultimately passed on the project, but she gave me some detailed feedback, which I then used to improve the manuscript.

And as I continued querying this same scenario repeated itself, multiple times. Many of the same agents who had "form rejected" my other novel--only a few months earlier!--were requesting partials and fulls. Two of them even requested a partial and then upgraded it to a full, which meant, at the very least, that my first 50 pages had been good enough to keep their interest. And many who passed on the project, even if this was the first time I'd queried them, were kind enough to offer me specific feedback. I found out later, from other more experienced authors, that this is extremely rare.

There are still agents reading this manuscript so I can't say anything more about it, but obviously, I did not get any offers of representation in 2010. And I'm okay with that.

I learned so much through the query process (both times) that I can't call it a loss. I can't say I didn't achieve anything. I can't say I didn't progress on my career path. Because I gained much, I achieved much, and I progressed much. That's more than I can I ask for.

Even for this year, too. I don't know where I will be or what might be in the works by the end of 2011. I don't know what will "fill in the blank." But I do know, as long as I keep writing and submitting and learning and adapting, that I will be a few steps forward from my position now, wherever that is.

And that is (more than) good enough for me.

So I ask again, what will 2011 mean for you?

~Lydia

Tension On Every Page

What is tension? With regard to reading, tension is the single-most effective way to keep a reader turning pages. But it's also one of the hardest things for a writer to pull off.

Focus on micro-tension. If you can keep the reader engaged from moment to moment then, eventually, they will reach the end of the book. Those moments add up.

For example, (since me and the fam just recently re-watched one of our fave movies of all-time, I'm using it) in Jurassic Park's T-Rex scene. You know which one I'm talking about. THE T-Rex scene.

That scene is full of tense moments. Individual moments that keep you on the edge of your seat, but that also contribute to the story as a whole. In each moment, the viewer wonders only about what will happen in that moment. That is what makes it tense. When Lex is so scared she can't even get the flashlight turned off and it keeps blasting light on the T-Rex and drawing its attention, are you at all worried, in that moment, about Dennis Nedry's plan to steal the embryos?

I should hope not. Your main concern is OMG IS SHE GOING TO GET EATEN! You can worry about the other stuff later, once you know she is safe.

When Tim is stuck in the car that's stuck in the tree and they start climbing down and the car starts falling toward them, are you at all worried, in that moment, about any of the dinosaurs that are now roaming free? Not really just yet, because your main concern is OMG ARE THEY GOING TO GET CRUSHED!

Same goes for the kitchen scene with the Raptors later, which is by far the scariest most tense scene in the whole movie. On that point, the reason the kitchen scene works so well in the anxiety department is because the tension is drawn out as taught as it possibly can. It's the least bloody-gory part of the movie yet it was chosen for the ending because it has the most intensity. The worse something is, the closer it should be to the climax.

Even in the not-so-action-filled scenes, there is still tension as we absorb everything that's happened or is going to happen. Tension does not always equal action. It always equals worry, whether the current pace is high or low.

Worry for the moment keeps readers turning pages. But at the same time, you can't just have a bunch of unrelated intense events strung together. Readers will quickly get frustrated with the what-does-this-have-to-do-with-anything? factor. Every event must aid in the outworking of the plot. Look at any of those examples above and you should see what I mean. They're all connected to the theme of the story-- Life will find a way.

This why it is so difficult to master. This is why structure is so important when writing a first draft. And this is why close analyzation of every element in your novel is so important when revising.

Take a page, any page that you've written, and judge it by its own merit. See if you can find specific reasons why the reader should keep reading. Specific qualities that make it tense. On that page alone.

The three main things to look for are:

1. A clear narrative voice.
2. A sense of where you are and why.
3. A reason to care what happens next.

There are so many different variations on how one can effectively portray all three of those on a page. And yes, much of it rides on the individual opinion of the reader.

Number one cannot be taught, in my opinion. Voice is something you learn how to do on your own, with practice. Lots and lots and lots of practice.

Number two involves the writer's use of description. Not too much and not too little. You want the reader to know just enough to avoid confusion. Because the real focus should be on...

Number three, making the reader care what happens next so they'll turn the page. That is where correct tension comes into play. It's a balance of intrigue and conflict, whether that be inward or outward.

Which brings me to another point. On a first page, not every story needs to start out with a slam-bam action scene to be considered tense. The tension from the hinted conflict can be inward. And the bottom line is, as long as the reader has a reason to care about what happens next, they will keep reading.

It really is that simple. Um... No, not really. It's the hardest thing ever. But not impossible to achieve. Read and analyze novels that kept you engaged (how did the author do it?), and keep practicing your technique. You'll get there.

Happy writing,
~Lydia

Lydia's Writing Journal, Entry #2: On Contest Entries and Musical Remedies

This is a weekly feature in which I post a day in my writing life from the week before.
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Friday, January 7, 2011

Let's just get this out of the way first-- I'm officially sick of winter. I thought maybe I could hold off the hate until February, but no. I'm done. I just want it to be April for the next few months. Until April, actually. Then we can move on with the rest of the year.

I'm neck-deep in contest entries and I love it. There is so much beautiful talent out there just waiting for the world to see. It actually saddens me that, even if all of these great writers successfully break into publishing, it might not be with these particular stories. It might be with their next novel, or the one after that, or the one after that. It is unfathomable how many stories out there will never be available to the public. Not unusual, though. But unfortunate.

I'm struggling with my current WIP. (no surprise, right? blarg) The words are flowing just fine, it's the story that I'm truly concerned about. I don't feel like I've tapped into its full potential yet. I haven't asked enough "what if" questions. I re-focused the first 150 pages, which involved a lot of scrapping and rewriting and some new writing, and I feel like it's closer to where it should be now than it was before. But something is still missing...

I tried writing a logline for the novel and it keeps coming out as a rambly garbage heap of a paragraph full of ughity-ugh-ughness. There is no IT factor. And I can't for the life of me come up with one. This has never been an issue for me before, so it's both annoying and scary. Am I losing my touch?

I don't know. I'll keep trying, but for now I need a break from this project. I'm giving myself the weekend off. Hopefully things will be better on Monday, and in the meantime, I've got a gasquillion contest entries to read and critique.

Also, if Mozart were alive today, he and I would be best buds. For serious.



*sigh* Watching this makes me want to play piano. Playing a musical instrument is like reading a good book. It relaxes my brain the same way a warm bath relaxes my body, and I haven't done enough of it lately. So I'm going to go play piano for a bit now. Catch ya L8RZ.

xoxo,
Lydia

Changing Format to Increase Impact

Writing is an art, so there are few things that we can say are truly "right" or "wrong." Much of what we create is dependent upon our own personal style. But it's not only an art, it's a craft. Something that you improve upon over a period of time. And you make improvements by trying new things, and making mistakes, until you find something that works.

There is a difference between format and structure. The latter involves the elements of the story. Format involves the elements of the writing... how you display your words.

As per usual, the best way I can show this is with an example. For those of you who are new here, I almost always use my own unpublished writing for these examples, because a) it's easier to pick something out of my head than digging through a bunch of books, and b) I still own the copyright.

The first snippet uses basic fiction format.

Dad walks back to his chair at the head of the dining room table. "The food will just be a few more minutes, Jasmine. Sorry for the wait, we weren't expecting any guests this morning. Perhaps Rocklyn could give us a warning next time?"

"Sure thing, Dad," I say.

He goes back to reading his paper and sipping his coffee like this is any other Sunday morning.

But it isn't like any other. Pots clang in the kitchen and glass shatters repeatedly. We all flinch, but no one moves until Mom yells an obscenity, sending Logan into a fit of wails. He knocks his juice onto Jeremy's his lap, Jeremy screams and runs upstairs to clean up, and Candy tears Logan out of his highchair. She says, "Nice meeting you, Jasmine," while shooting me a glare that could freeze fire, then takes off after Jeremy. Dad does nothing, which is worse for me than what everyone else just did. What's his deal?

There isn't anything technically wrong with that, but there is also no style, namely in that final paragraph. If I were to use it in that format, I would spice it up more. Give it some voice. But in this particular instance I wanted something different.

So I kept the relay of events drier than usual, and simply changed the format.

    Dad walks back to his chair at the head of the dining room table. "The food will just be a few more minutes, Jasmine. Sorry for the wait, we weren't expecting any guests this morning. Perhaps Rocklyn could give us a warning next time?"

    "Sure thing, Dad," I say.

    He goes back to reading his paper and sipping his coffee like this is any other Sunday morning.

    But it isn't.

    Pots clang in the kitchen.

    Then glass shatters.

    Again.

    And again.

    Mom yells an obscenity.

    Logan wails and knocks his juice on Jeremy's lap.

    Jeremy screams and runs upstairs.

    Candy tears Logan out of his highchair, says, "Nice meeting you, Jasmine," while shooting me a glare that could freeze fire, and then goes after Jeremy.

    Dad does nothing, which is worse for me than what everyone else just did. What's his deal?

SOCIAL GRACES
© 2010 Lydia Sharp

I chose not to even mention the wincing because when I read that part where the glass is shattering repeatedly, the way it's formatted makes me wince just reading it. The format gives it the necessary impact.

Also, by giving each character's action its own "paragraph", it shows the thought process in the viewpoint character's head. She's gauging everyone's reactions individually, separate, so that when she finally gets back to analyzing her father who is acting like everything is normal when it SO isn't, we can easily see this drastic comparison and understand why she questions it at the end.

And somewhat related here is the use of sentence fragments. That is another way to increase impact, even in standard format.

Changing format can effectively increase impact, but it will lose that impact if you overdo it. Techniques like this stand out because they are out of the ordinary, and overusing them will make them... ordinary. In 150 pages of this ms that I've written so far, this is the only place I formatted a sequence of events in this manner.

And this is just one example. Changing format can be broad in scope, such as displaying the layout of your chapters in a unique way, or it can be more singularly focused, such as the example above. Don't be afraid to play around with it and try new things. You might just find a technique worth keeping.

Happy Writing,
~Lydia

CONTEST UPDATE:

It seems like that for every one critique I finish, two more entries pop into my mailbox. I'm swamped. But please, keep them coming! I'm enjoying every minute of this, and I'm amazed by the quality of these entries. The upcoming decision is going to be extremely tough. Thanks to everyone who has entered so far, especially for your kind additional comments. Thank you for sharing your words.

(link to the guidelines is in the sidebar if you haven't entered yet)

A Thank You and a Snippet and a Holy Crap You Guys Are Amazing

At the time of this post there are already 20 entries in the First Chapter Critique Contest. Say what?! Holy crap, you guys are amazing. Thanks to everyone who is spreading the word! And to anyone who is thinking of entering, there is still plenty of time left and plenty of room on my plate.

I've already received multiple YA, adult, and middle grade entries, in just about every genre I can think of, everything from psychological thrillers to paranormal romance to basic contemporary to space opera. And I'm enjoying every bit of it. It's pretty clear from what I've read so far that none of you are beginners, and I can honestly say it is a privilege and honor to be reading these entries. Thank you!

Since you all are being so generous in sharing your story openings with me, I'd like to return the favor and share the first 500(ish) words of a project that I'm NOT actively working on at the moment. The main reason it's on the back burner is because it is a co-writing project with Joe, and as of now, we don't agree on how the storyline should play out.

The original idea is his. I can't take any credit for it. But I went ahead and wrote a brief opening a few months ago anyway, just in case we ever find a way to make it work. And here it is.

-----

RIDERS OF THE HEARSE
YA zombie sci-fi
created by Joe Sharp
written by Lydia Sharp
© 2010

    The first time I saw the Doc he was wielding a huge-ass scythe and running straight toward me. He had a cold calm in his eyes that gave me goosebumps, like single-handedly saving a couple of seventeen year-old guys who'd snuck over to the wrong side of the fence was just another item to check off his to-do list. With a scythe of all things. That odd weapon of choice, plus the way the Doc's long black overcoat kinda swayed around his hulking figure as he ran, made him look like the Grim Reaper. That was what they called him on the Outside. I just hadn't known why until I saw him.

    But I wasn't scared as he closed the gap between us. Well, more accurately, I wasn't scared of him.

    It sounded like he yelled "Get down!" (hard to tell with the Screamer going off behind us, alerting more of its undead friends), so I tucked Brady against my chest and pulled him down to the gritty pavement. We didn't flatten, we crouched, not sure if we'd need to start running at any second. The Doc's coat grazed my back as he sailed over us. Then I heard things I'd never heard before that night, but in the weeks that passed since then, it became routine. The scythe was doing its silent work. The sounds I heard came from the creatures that fell at its calculated swipes from the Doc. Mostly thuds. Sickening thuds that made you want to hurl chunks, because seeing and smelling your own vomit and swallowing back the burn was more pleasurable than hearing those damn thuds.

    Brady retched, still crouched under my arm, but there was nothing in his stomach to upchuck. We hadn't eaten for two whole days. He started shaking, maybe shivering (the concrete had a glaze of frost over it), or maybe just scared. I wouldn't let him see that I felt the same way. This had all been my stupid idea, he was just going along with it, supporting all my crazy notions like he always did. He really wasn't made for thrills, but that was why we were so good together. He kept me in check when I got a little too crazy, and every so often I reminded him what it truly meant to be alive.

    Something hit my side, right in the ribs, and I jumped to my feet in a flash. Then it was my turn to retch. I'd been hit by a severed arm, the flesh all grey and peeling. No red anywhere, though. Guess that rumor was true; these things didn't bleed.

    The Doc swept his scythe in broad strokes, decapitating zombies like he was harvesting wheat. The path to the hearse looked clear now. We'd be safe there. I grabbed Brady's hand tight and ran so hard I couldn't feel my muscles, just a twang of impact in my joints with every step. Brady's breath grew ragged as his spindly legs tried to keep up.

    "Almost there," I said. "Just keep going. Don't look back."

    So of course he looked back. My fault for saying it.

-----

Thanks for reading!
~Lydia

The Very First Ever Never Been Done Here Before First Chapter Critique Contest at The Sharp Angle

THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED.
-----

You asked for it. You got it. The Very First Ever Never Been Done Here Before First Chapter Critique Contest at The Sharp Angle, or, for short, TVFENBDHBFCCCATSA.

Okay, no. Let's just call it... The Awesome.

Rules and guidelines for The Awesome:

1. Write a novel. Any genre. Any type. As long as it's fiction. And you know what? You don't even have to finish it. Just get the first chapter done and you're good to go. NO SHORT FICTION OR POETRY, PLEASE.

2. Email the first 500 words of your masterpiece to Lydia at lydiasharp4sff (at) yahoo (dot) com. Copy/paste in the body of the email. ONE ENTRY PER PERSON. Please format the subject line as follows:

Blog Contest Entry: TITLE OF YOUR NOVEL (genre or type)

For example

Blog Contest Entry: THE PINK UMBRELLA SOCIETY (contemp women's fiction)

Or

Blog Contest Entry: SCORPIONS, SKELETONS, AND SKIRTS (young adult fantasy)

3. If your 500-word mark ends in the middle of a sentence or the middle of a paragraph, please finish it out. Don't leave me hanging. DO NOT INCLUDE A SYNOPSIS OR PITCH. Just a brief greeting and the first 500 words of your novel.

4. Entries will be accepted from now until January 15, 2011 at midnight, EST (Saturday night/ Sunday morning). Any entries received after that will be deleted unread.

5. Spreading the word (blogging, tweeting, shouting from the rooftops, etc.) is highly encouraged but not a requirement for entry. Neither is "following" me at any venue. I'M NOT SHALLOW LIKE THAT. And I don't want anyone to think that ego-stroking will sway my opinion of their entry. It won't. But I also won't complain if you do so.

What I am looking for:

In a word, POTENTIAL. Whichever entry has the most potential, in my opinion (and I'm dreading--actually dreading--how difficult this decision is going to be) will be named the official Grand Prize Winner.

And now for the good stuff:

EVERY PARTICIPANT WILL RECEIVE A CRITIQUE OF THEIR 500-WORD ENTRY (by Lydia). As long as you follow the rules above. In this way, everyone wins. You've seriously got nothing to lose by entering.

The Grand Prize Winner will receive the following, um, grand prizes. (Yep. That's plural.)

1. A line edit/ critique of your first chapter by Lydia AND Joe. That's TWO separate critiques. TWO opinions on the same thing. We will do the critiques individually so we don't influence each other's opinions.

2. A query letter critique by Lydia. The query letter can be for ANY of your novels, not necessarily the one you entered in the contest.

3. A free signed copy of Lydia's newest anthology, SHADOWS & LIGHT VOLUME II: MORE LEGENDS, once it is available. (For residents of the continental U.S. only. Sorry. Blame the outrageous cost of shipping.)

4. An Author Spotlight of YOU here on The Sharp Angle soon after the contest is over and all critiques are complete. Author Spotlight is kind of like an interview, but much more casual and fun. We haven't done one for a while, so we're due, and this seemed like the perfect way to select our next guest.

Details on how all of the above prizes will be handled will be discussed with the Grand Prize Winner via email once they have officially been named winner of The Awesome.

Joe and Lydia reserve the right to change anything about this contest they feel is necessary at any time. (But we likely won't. We just have to cover our asses here.)

Questions? Comments? General mischief and/or squeeing? Post any of that below. I'll keep a link to this post in the sidebar until the entry deadline.

Good luck to everyone who enters!

~Lydia

ADDENDUM:

Less than an hour after posting this and I already have two entries in my mailbox. AWESOME. But I need to clarify a couple more things.

If you've submitted correctly I'll send you a simple reply stating that I got it so you don't have to freak out wondering if it's lost in email nirvana. If you don't get that reply within a day or two, resubmit. Please add my email address to your contacts list so the reply does not accidentally get sent to your spam folder.

Whatever you submit first is IT. No revisions accepted.

A Brief Note On Branding

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~Oscar Wilde

I've seen a surge of blog posts about author branding recently, so I just wanted to clarify some things.

Having an online presence doesn't mean you have liberty to be an idiot. It also doesn't mean you have to fit into some cookie-cutter mold of the perfect author.

Take agents, for example. Janet Reid has a defined personality. So does Rachelle Gardner. And falling somewhere in between those extremes is Mary Kole. They all know their shit. But they are also no one else but themselves.

It's the same way with authors. Any author who has a successful blog (or twitter account or whatever social networking format they choose) has established a brand for themselves. People expect certain things from them and they DON'T expect certain things from them.

Author branding isn't only about what we write. But what we write is so closely connected with who we are as a person that it is no surprise that the two are often blended.

For example, Hannah Moskowitz, author of edgy YA. I could never get away with some of the stuff she says online. But that's because I'm not her. I'm me. On the other end of the spectrum, I would also get more than a few raised brows if I suddenly went the more conservative route like Jody Hedlund, author of historical romance.

Look at how different their blogs are. And they both work. That's author branding at its finest.

None of us is doing anything wrong by being who we are. That is what our readers expect. All of us have something worth saying, in our own way.

One thing I personally hope to accomplish through this blog, other than to be helpful and supportive of my fellow authors, is to make it clear that if you like me as a person there is a pretty decent chance that you will enjoy my fiction.

It's that simple.

So if you're new here, or if you just need a reminder, this is my brand:

I can be extraordinarily crass, inappropriate, and hotheaded.
I can be just as extraordinarily kind, caring, and levelheaded.
I like girly things, like flowers and fashion and cheesy romance.
I like boyish things, like dirt and pranks and mindless sex.
I'm a film addict and a music geek, and often include these topics in... just about everything I do and say.
If you have a problem with the F word, don't bother reading my YA or women's fic novels.
If you have a problem with combat, death, blood, etc., don't bother reading any of my sci-fi and fantasy.
If you have a problem with honesty, don't bother following my blog.

And, although I don't speak of it much, I have a thing for Marilyn Monroe.

When referring to herself, she made the most accurate quote about ME that I could find:

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

This is my author brand, and it says worlds about both my fiction and who I am as a person. Take it or leave it.

~Lydia

Lydia's Writing Journal, Entry #1: Getting a Derailed First Draft Back on Track (and other writerly musings)

I'd like to try something new this year. Every Monday I'm going to post a journal entry of a day in my writing life from the week before.

I've been blogging for a year and a half now, and I've been following blogs for much longer than that. While most blogs I follow have truly invaluable advice week in and week out, and some even get down to a personal level from time to time and make us feel like we're all connected and real, I don't think the latter is done nearly enough. This is a tough career choice, no matter where you are on the path.

We're told we have to be careful what we post for public view. Which is true. But I don't think that means we can't be thoroughly honest about the ups and downs of our journey. We just have to be selective.

So this is me, being honest and selective.

-----

Saturday, January 1, 2011

I feel like total shit today. I've had some kind of stomach thing going on since yesterday, thought it was gone, but it came back with a vengeance. Only an hour after punching in at work (retail... the job that actually pays regularly) I had to leave. I never leave work early. Especially when it's a holiday and I get double wages for being there.

After a much-needed nap and some hot tea, I felt well enough to sit up and read. My first read of the year--MATCHED by Ally Condie. It's a 2010 book but I'm trying to catch up. This book is amazing so far. It makes me want to give up as a writer because I will never write anything as compelling as this. I only stopped reading to give my eyes a rest. As a writer, I can see the techniques the author used. I can see the foreshadowing, the subtle hints, the little teases that keep tugging me along, and even though it's clear to me, something I can possibly do myself if I practice enough, I still want to give up hope that I'll ever be able to master this craft in such an artistic way.

Sometimes--no, a lot of times--I feel overwhelmed by these things when writing a novel.

I wanted to give up on my WIP today. It's probably the best thing I've ever written, and I got so frustrated with myself... with myself! It was me, not the story. I'm the one who f*cked it up. I was so certain I knew where I was headed, so certain I was on the right path. I wasn't. I took something that should have gone one way and made it go the wrong way, and then the whole thing DERAILED.

And even though I knew this, I kept going. I kept writing, hoping it would get back on track somehow. It didn't, of course. I should know better than to ignore my gut.

I happened to catch one of my beta readers online. He's been reading this story, chapter by chapter, as I write it, and I could tell when I got to a certain point that his comments weren't as enthusiastic anymore. But, trooper that he is, he had faith in my writing ability and trusted that the story would be worth it in the end.

Until today. When he went on a two-page email diatribe about why it isn't working anymore, nearly two-hundred pages into it. Basically confirming everything that I already knew but was afraid to admit to myself because it would mean taking a step back and interrupting my flow.

I hate you for that. I love you for that.

Then I said, "Well, let me tell you what my original plans were, and you let me know if it sounds better than what I ended up writing." And within an hour, I had it figured out, just by talking about it. Just by refocusing on the original plot that somehow lost its way. Just be reaffirming why the hell I'm writing this story in the first place.

When I write, I have to let go of myself. I have to remember that the story is greater than the author, but it's up to me to do it justice.

I went through the piece, chapter by chapter, from the beginning, which isn't something I normally do until I've completed the first draft. But I knew something went majorly wrong along the way, so it would be a pointless waste of time and effort to continue the draft without fixing that error first. Minor errors can wait until the second draft. Major errors, like this, need immediate attention.

This was the first time I'd gone back and read my beginning chapters since I first wrote them nearly four weeks ago. And wow. They're f*cking brilliant (I'm allowed to think so). No wonder my beta had such high hopes for this. It was nice to see that I'm not a complete hack after all. As I continued, I was then able to pinpoint the exact places where I went wrong. And this told me that I'm not an amateur anymore. Three years ago, I could have looked at the same piece with the same ideas for improvement and would have done nothing more than blink expressionlessly. Clueless.

I just didn't have the experience behind me then that I do now. And when I can look back on my progress and see how I've improved, it returns my hope that I will keep getting better as time marches forward, as long as I keep writing and pushing myself through these difficult spots, not shrinking back. Not giving up.

I made a bunch of notes throughout my manuscript, wanting to get them all down before I forgot how to fix things. Then I deleted an entire scene and rewrote it from scratch. That felt wonderful. The difference was clear. I have whole chapters beyond this that also need complete rewrites, and it's not so overwhelming anymore. I know I can do it. One word at a time.

This time last month, this novel was not even a speck of an idea in my head yet. Now it's nearly a complete first draft and undergoing a major rewrite. To make it better. However long it takes, and no matter how many snags I encounter, I'm going to finish this. It deserves to be written. It deserves to be read.

It's not about me. At all. It's not about how frustrated I may get, or how quickly I can spill out a draft, or how I will or will not ever write as well as someone else. Just remember that, Lydia, and the story will take shape the way it should, in its own time.

xoxo,

Lydia